Compassion from a different angle
What the fuck am I supposed to do?
If people choose blatantly to be full of shit, isn't it fair to knock them off the list? No? Because of "compassion"? Which means that we allow shitty people to do shitty things, knowing full well how shitty they are and yet, all the while, pretending to avoid it and act like they didn't know better?
I feel dangerously cynical.
But, honestly.
What's the use in trying to make a difference?
Well, that one is easy. Because it feels like shit to live like this. Because without trying to affect some sort of change, I'm just as stuck living with it as anyone else who didn't choose to - and, hey, guess what: It's total shit. So, I have to do better for the people who didn't choose this.
But, what about those who do?
Aw fuck it. Let them have it. That's the answer. Let them live their half-dead, mostly-dead, all-dead lives. Let them have their shit. Maybe they'll realise it's shit and want to change, but maybe they never will. Maybe they will spend all their lives making and loving and creating more bullshit.
Hell, then they'll be out of our way anyway. Let the dead be dead if they choose death. What difference does it make to us who want life? The only thing I need to resolve is finding how to get those who didn't choose the shit out of it, and how to create less shit or repair some of the old shit.
If others want the shit, they can have it where they are. This revolution and these ideas and this way of seeing things and this way of living doesn't all have to be a "global" thing. It can't be, at first. In fact, the things and the methods and the hopes I have for the future can't be a global thing. It's only relevant to me and my time and where I am.
Ok, so that's a bearable message. To try and change the shit for those who don't want it, didn't ask for it, aren't causing it.
And if no-one wants life?
Well, that's highly unlikely. But, if it appears that way then there are two options. Either I can seek it for myself and maybe others will want it when I find it, or I can go somewhere where people do want it.
I think I thought I had. That was a big mistake.
I think also that I was increasing the number of people who wanted it. In fact, I was increasing the number of people who could see it - that was all.
So, ok. If I'm the only one who wants it, I have to just create it for myself and let others see it. And, I should probably find others who want it instead of trying to shove it off on those who don't care if they get it or not.
Where can I find them?
I suppose I have to look in places where the shit is being shoved on them. So, where is that?
Everywhere.
So, how do I differentiate those who want the shit and those who don't?
Just. Fucking. Ask.
Honesty, just like before - is the key. Once you get the answer, then that's fair - you'll just let it be. If you get an answer that doesn't seem honest, I suppose keep asking. Or, observe more. That might be a flaw in your honesty-is-the-best-method plan. You also have to observe and discern the truth for yourself because so many people don't actully want to tell the truth.
Don't want to be open because they are scared.
Well, ok. I can have compassion and understanding on that. I used to be afraid. Sometimes, I still am. I also struggle with how to be honest in a compassionate way, so I get it. It's hard.
And yet, you have to want it. I can show you how its better, but you have to cross that line. And if you don't choose to, that's fair too, but then I'll have to leave you where you are. Which isn't okay by me, but I'll do it if you make me.
If people choose blatantly to be full of shit, isn't it fair to knock them off the list? No? Because of "compassion"? Which means that we allow shitty people to do shitty things, knowing full well how shitty they are and yet, all the while, pretending to avoid it and act like they didn't know better?
I feel dangerously cynical.
But, honestly.
What's the use in trying to make a difference?
Well, that one is easy. Because it feels like shit to live like this. Because without trying to affect some sort of change, I'm just as stuck living with it as anyone else who didn't choose to - and, hey, guess what: It's total shit. So, I have to do better for the people who didn't choose this.
But, what about those who do?
Aw fuck it. Let them have it. That's the answer. Let them live their half-dead, mostly-dead, all-dead lives. Let them have their shit. Maybe they'll realise it's shit and want to change, but maybe they never will. Maybe they will spend all their lives making and loving and creating more bullshit.
Hell, then they'll be out of our way anyway. Let the dead be dead if they choose death. What difference does it make to us who want life? The only thing I need to resolve is finding how to get those who didn't choose the shit out of it, and how to create less shit or repair some of the old shit.
If others want the shit, they can have it where they are. This revolution and these ideas and this way of seeing things and this way of living doesn't all have to be a "global" thing. It can't be, at first. In fact, the things and the methods and the hopes I have for the future can't be a global thing. It's only relevant to me and my time and where I am.
Ok, so that's a bearable message. To try and change the shit for those who don't want it, didn't ask for it, aren't causing it.
And if no-one wants life?
Well, that's highly unlikely. But, if it appears that way then there are two options. Either I can seek it for myself and maybe others will want it when I find it, or I can go somewhere where people do want it.
I think I thought I had. That was a big mistake.
I think also that I was increasing the number of people who wanted it. In fact, I was increasing the number of people who could see it - that was all.
So, ok. If I'm the only one who wants it, I have to just create it for myself and let others see it. And, I should probably find others who want it instead of trying to shove it off on those who don't care if they get it or not.
Where can I find them?
I suppose I have to look in places where the shit is being shoved on them. So, where is that?
Everywhere.
So, how do I differentiate those who want the shit and those who don't?
Just. Fucking. Ask.
Honesty, just like before - is the key. Once you get the answer, then that's fair - you'll just let it be. If you get an answer that doesn't seem honest, I suppose keep asking. Or, observe more. That might be a flaw in your honesty-is-the-best-method plan. You also have to observe and discern the truth for yourself because so many people don't actully want to tell the truth.
Don't want to be open because they are scared.
Well, ok. I can have compassion and understanding on that. I used to be afraid. Sometimes, I still am. I also struggle with how to be honest in a compassionate way, so I get it. It's hard.
And yet, you have to want it. I can show you how its better, but you have to cross that line. And if you don't choose to, that's fair too, but then I'll have to leave you where you are. Which isn't okay by me, but I'll do it if you make me.
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