An Experiment with Symbology
Most moments don't strike us. They simply glide past unnoticed, unnoticeable. Unremarkable. Like the impermanence of time and space and tangible reality - one breath they are before us, and the next they're gone.
But some hit us in the gut, stand out from the muddle of colors and lights and shapes and textures of our day-to-day lives like a shock from a live wire. Within those - those one or two that matter to us, that mark some point in our life, that point out some fork in the road we might possibly be able to take for a change - is the key to our understanding of existence and our transcendence from the murk of tradegy and destruction.
You can generally tell when one of those moments is coming. Leading up to it is an intense feeling of unease, anxiety, or restlessness. A sense of edgy eagerness. A lack of being settled. Unrest. Unnerved. On the edge of our seat for some reason we cannot explain. A tenseness in our back and shoulders, an unconscious furrow in our brow. A hastiness that, most likely, was not there before.
In those moments preambling the shock, what we need is patience. The wind is about to blow. You can feel it in your marrow. The earth is about to shake. You can hear the vibrations off in the distance, growling like a freight train coming toward you. But, you cannot change its course or speed its approach. It will come when it comes. We must wait.
Waiting has always been the worst part for me. Standing on the edge of some ledge, just pacing and pacing and pacing. Debating what should be done when what there was to do was little - or worse still, nil. Arguing over what choice to make when the choice was inconceivable still. Wondering, pondering, fretting over what the wind would feel like when it blew and in which direction it would come from.
Then, to my dismay - when it blew, I always knew. And, to my relief, I would always move. Who can stand still when the storm is about you? Who can sit motionless when the earth is tossing you? Who cannot stand up when the wind is whipping at your face and back?
And yet, I still could not wait.
Let the dawn and the light and the revelation come now, I would say then. Impetuously. Persistently. Impatiently. I have not changed. Even now, I am shivering with anticipation of some wind I can hear off in the distance. Some change that is necessary for continued existence, continued peace, continued pursuance of reality and truth and enlightenment.
I need only to wait and see with eyes unclouded. Then, perhaps this personal angst can be for a larger, grander change. For something like the revolution to begin. Or, for the chaos already cracking around us to set in. Or, possibly, for the final starvation of this insatiable capitalistic, technological, consumeristic, hyper-speed beast.
-------
Here is a symbolic answer to the question: "What am I, what are we waiting for?" Take it for what you will. It is, after all, only a reading of my own patterns and internal perceptions.
The problem is a conflict between introspection and outward hope. Between withdrawing from the world on a search for guidance and a desire to find a new connection, a new partnership. Solitude crossed with a bringing together of opposites.
Leading up to now, we've delighted in a sense of companionship, a celebratory dancing as we built this connection. In doing so, you and I have learned to rely on one another. To function as one. And, for a while, it was jubilation. But now, the previous solace of being just one small pinpoint of light in the world is beginning to feel like an isolation. Where is the larger connect? Where is the "community", though the word fails us socially?
Subconsciously, we know that we have the power, influence, even authority to do the right thing. To know the right choice. And, were we to follow that feeling full-through, we would find the truth. Openness. Honesty. A death of pretenses and deceit. The forthrightness we have been craving in a community, in a union beyond our mingled-up self. An honesty and intelligence that would lead us all to deeper truths and inner strength.
So, the next step is clear, really. The only way to reach said end is to foster a constant vigilance, a preparedness. To keep constant watch over the present. To prevent any possible attacks that might sidetrack us.
And yet, there is hesitation. In our eyes, from a spiritual poverty, blocking the way. A spiritual poverty caused by material troubles, "hard times" or at least the idea of there being hard times, of ostracization, exclusion. Insecurity at its best born from a material fear of lacking what is necessary.
Others, however, see a different conflict. From outside, there could possibly be a balance, a strange but beneficial match, a potentially good union. Although, it appears possibly romantic, while not necessarily. And yet, dangerous for just that reason. We must determine our values before moving forward, others fear. A possible neglect of reality and a falling into temptation could result. Leaving us struggling with choices, possibly even losing an "innocence" we had prior.
However, all that could be taken with a grain of salt, taken at face value, taken as a careful warning to make good choices as we move forward. Which is never a bad idea.
Because in order for this community to form, for this bond to work, for this situation to end in truth and not in despair -we must have a strong sense of morality and truth. A preparedness to spring into action at just the right moment. Keeping with us always wisdom, thoughtfulness, and a memory of the past - of where we have been. Of the jubilation of successful companionship before, and a potential jubilation yet again, though multiplied. A careful balance of night and day - of opposites, of differing attributes, opposite yet complimentary.
What if the course is too steep, the cost too great, you ask.
Well, should we not take on the challenge; should we sit on our hands instead, the outcome is bleak. A desperate scrambling for control. An all-around sense of adversity to change and a denial of weaknesses. A possessiveness and limiting of ourselves. Obstruction of the truth.
So, shall we carry on? Shall we follow the wind with haste when we feel it?
I think let's. It has never led me astray before.
But some hit us in the gut, stand out from the muddle of colors and lights and shapes and textures of our day-to-day lives like a shock from a live wire. Within those - those one or two that matter to us, that mark some point in our life, that point out some fork in the road we might possibly be able to take for a change - is the key to our understanding of existence and our transcendence from the murk of tradegy and destruction.
You can generally tell when one of those moments is coming. Leading up to it is an intense feeling of unease, anxiety, or restlessness. A sense of edgy eagerness. A lack of being settled. Unrest. Unnerved. On the edge of our seat for some reason we cannot explain. A tenseness in our back and shoulders, an unconscious furrow in our brow. A hastiness that, most likely, was not there before.
In those moments preambling the shock, what we need is patience. The wind is about to blow. You can feel it in your marrow. The earth is about to shake. You can hear the vibrations off in the distance, growling like a freight train coming toward you. But, you cannot change its course or speed its approach. It will come when it comes. We must wait.
Waiting has always been the worst part for me. Standing on the edge of some ledge, just pacing and pacing and pacing. Debating what should be done when what there was to do was little - or worse still, nil. Arguing over what choice to make when the choice was inconceivable still. Wondering, pondering, fretting over what the wind would feel like when it blew and in which direction it would come from.
Then, to my dismay - when it blew, I always knew. And, to my relief, I would always move. Who can stand still when the storm is about you? Who can sit motionless when the earth is tossing you? Who cannot stand up when the wind is whipping at your face and back?
And yet, I still could not wait.
Let the dawn and the light and the revelation come now, I would say then. Impetuously. Persistently. Impatiently. I have not changed. Even now, I am shivering with anticipation of some wind I can hear off in the distance. Some change that is necessary for continued existence, continued peace, continued pursuance of reality and truth and enlightenment.
I need only to wait and see with eyes unclouded. Then, perhaps this personal angst can be for a larger, grander change. For something like the revolution to begin. Or, for the chaos already cracking around us to set in. Or, possibly, for the final starvation of this insatiable capitalistic, technological, consumeristic, hyper-speed beast.
-------
Here is a symbolic answer to the question: "What am I, what are we waiting for?" Take it for what you will. It is, after all, only a reading of my own patterns and internal perceptions.
The problem is a conflict between introspection and outward hope. Between withdrawing from the world on a search for guidance and a desire to find a new connection, a new partnership. Solitude crossed with a bringing together of opposites.
Leading up to now, we've delighted in a sense of companionship, a celebratory dancing as we built this connection. In doing so, you and I have learned to rely on one another. To function as one. And, for a while, it was jubilation. But now, the previous solace of being just one small pinpoint of light in the world is beginning to feel like an isolation. Where is the larger connect? Where is the "community", though the word fails us socially?
Subconsciously, we know that we have the power, influence, even authority to do the right thing. To know the right choice. And, were we to follow that feeling full-through, we would find the truth. Openness. Honesty. A death of pretenses and deceit. The forthrightness we have been craving in a community, in a union beyond our mingled-up self. An honesty and intelligence that would lead us all to deeper truths and inner strength.
So, the next step is clear, really. The only way to reach said end is to foster a constant vigilance, a preparedness. To keep constant watch over the present. To prevent any possible attacks that might sidetrack us.
And yet, there is hesitation. In our eyes, from a spiritual poverty, blocking the way. A spiritual poverty caused by material troubles, "hard times" or at least the idea of there being hard times, of ostracization, exclusion. Insecurity at its best born from a material fear of lacking what is necessary.
Others, however, see a different conflict. From outside, there could possibly be a balance, a strange but beneficial match, a potentially good union. Although, it appears possibly romantic, while not necessarily. And yet, dangerous for just that reason. We must determine our values before moving forward, others fear. A possible neglect of reality and a falling into temptation could result. Leaving us struggling with choices, possibly even losing an "innocence" we had prior.
However, all that could be taken with a grain of salt, taken at face value, taken as a careful warning to make good choices as we move forward. Which is never a bad idea.
Because in order for this community to form, for this bond to work, for this situation to end in truth and not in despair -we must have a strong sense of morality and truth. A preparedness to spring into action at just the right moment. Keeping with us always wisdom, thoughtfulness, and a memory of the past - of where we have been. Of the jubilation of successful companionship before, and a potential jubilation yet again, though multiplied. A careful balance of night and day - of opposites, of differing attributes, opposite yet complimentary.
What if the course is too steep, the cost too great, you ask.
Well, should we not take on the challenge; should we sit on our hands instead, the outcome is bleak. A desperate scrambling for control. An all-around sense of adversity to change and a denial of weaknesses. A possessiveness and limiting of ourselves. Obstruction of the truth.
So, shall we carry on? Shall we follow the wind with haste when we feel it?
I think let's. It has never led me astray before.
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