when one falls down
I think I am, at last, beginning to see. To see how terrible things show us the truth in such bright colors - truths we might never have seen otherwise.
To see how I am not the person I once was, but how that person can still recur from time to time. And how that doesn't mean I am it again. Simply, retracing time.
This retracing can be so very dangerous. This backstepping into the past to recall what it was like to be that person. What it felt like, what it looked like. How she would look now, standing in my place, with me face-to-face.
It isn't pretty.
But that ghost cannot hold my attention long; before I know it, some revelation has struck me and her vapor quickly spreads across the footage of the room - and she is gone. But the memory of her - that vision so stark that I could almost remember how to...but it fades, as all good nightmares do. And soon, I am off in my own place with my own thoughts and my current convictions, only fueled by the powers of the past.
This is new to me.
Just like gaining faith in humanity by witnessing a guy threaten others with a knife.
This spirit we follow is very strange. And knows truth in the farthest of places.
Perhaps, there truly is hope.
To see how I am not the person I once was, but how that person can still recur from time to time. And how that doesn't mean I am it again. Simply, retracing time.
This retracing can be so very dangerous. This backstepping into the past to recall what it was like to be that person. What it felt like, what it looked like. How she would look now, standing in my place, with me face-to-face.
It isn't pretty.
But that ghost cannot hold my attention long; before I know it, some revelation has struck me and her vapor quickly spreads across the footage of the room - and she is gone. But the memory of her - that vision so stark that I could almost remember how to...but it fades, as all good nightmares do. And soon, I am off in my own place with my own thoughts and my current convictions, only fueled by the powers of the past.
This is new to me.
Just like gaining faith in humanity by witnessing a guy threaten others with a knife.
This spirit we follow is very strange. And knows truth in the farthest of places.
Perhaps, there truly is hope.
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