Something in me really does want to be brilliant. That, I presume, is the egotism.
Something else seems to think that, one day, I may actually achieve it. That, it´s clear, is the pretention.

Don´t pay any of that much mind, though. A few more times like these and a few more failures like this, and I´m sure to get over it. Or, at least I´m sure to begin to ignore it. That´ll help some, don´t you think?

See, because I´d be so much prettier without all this egotistic pretention hanging about in the dark circles under my eyes. And we´d be so much happier without all that assumption, all that expectation, all that weight of all those "little" things we´ve come to believe we owed.

I´m even beginning to think, maybe life would be a little better if it were less cluttered up with all this understanding of things you´ll do and I´ll do and we´ll do someday. And, maybe life would be a little more logical if we just went back to the lobby-at-midnight, cafeteria-eating-table sort of theology, to the you-do-so-I-do sort of philosophy, and to the cinnamon-roll, billard-table, ice-cream-sunday, tuuna kind of romance.

I think it´d make things a hell of a lot less complicated. I wonder if you do too.
Maybe it doesn´t matter as much as it seems it ought to.
Maybe it matters more.

Maybe the altitude and lack of sleep and Peruvian food is beginning to get to me. Not to mention the granola bars that are taking up more room than they´re worth for my measly breakfasts I miss because I´d rather wear soemthing logically appropriate to my current state of mind.

Then again, maybe I just want to come home.

-RK