23 February 2006

Vindetta

You're a "blog", aren't you? Something of an internet journal or memoir or public arena where I can voice or publish or display any little insignificant tidbit about my very existence?

Oh, I'm sorry. We aren't supposed to be speaking in the first person, are we? And we shouldn't address our audience in such blatant second-person terms, should we? We ought to address our audience in the third person -- or perhas from on a purely definitive second-person standpoint. For 'in a formal paper, one should never address oneself as "I" or "me" or any singular personal pronoun thereof' and 'one should never directly address an audience in such informal language as to assume the audience is personable'. This is considered very poor prescriptive grammar.

The well-formulated formal paper considers a subject verb conguation style which is of the utmost propreity. In this sense, dangling modifiers and split infinitives and such, are utterly incompatible with said style. Such things as this are not proper grammar and should be nixed at the first availibility. In addition to, semantics of the utmost importance are. To these, careful attention pay. Unless the meaning, lost, should become and the utterly brilliant minds confounded stand.

This is an unacceptible example. Please do not use it as a referent when constructing your three page, single spaced peer reviews which will be due in Monday.

The stated guidelines can be found in your APA or HMRA or Oxford Direct handbook. If you do not have access to such handbooks, please contact Bob Jones University Press for such printed materials as will be required for your present research.

The faculty will be expecting a three to five minute oral presentation on the results within the coming week. Please come prepared or don't come at all.

Thank you.

-RK

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