random process
Three strips of gyro and a baklava later, I believe in You again. As if, somehow, the whole understanding of Love ended at the crossroad of another crisis of fatih. As if the things we talked about and the doubt they planted somehow made me less complete. As if, in Your infinite plan, You didn't think to plan for this.
But You did, didn't You? You planned out the scope of this life, the destination of the end of it, and the purpose for the living it. And maybe they are all right about You -- maybe You don't have a pad and pencil where you scribble down everything I will have ever done and will do and have done. Maybe You really don't look down the spectrum of time at all points and know. Or maybe You do.
But it doesn't matter, does it?
It doesn't make the difference I made it out to make, last night. It doesn't change the purpose - the goal - the aim - the will of life. It doesn't make life pointless, random choices I decide in a vacuum and then enact in some sort stage that we consider this life to be. It doesn't mean that our choices are irrelevent, and it doesn't mean Your plan is not infinite.
Balance. Again, return to the idea - the symobl - the concept - the truth of balance. Return to the combiniation of day and night, light and dark, male and female, you and me. Return to the basis of everything that has formed a foundation for the thing. Return to the whole reason we've been doing this from the first place.
Love. Purpose. Balance.
There is no black, no white. There is grey -- there are shades of life. There are echelons of variation in the world. There are colors of diffent hues and shapes in different sizes. And all of that, taken into account, and balanced out - is life. There is no line between the sky and the ground. There is no horizon. There is no present. There is only the line we percieve between the two. There is only the line we percieve between balck and white. There is only a difference we percieve between you and me - between this and that -- between us and the rest of the universe.
In reality, all things are connected. All things have to balance with all others.
Likewise, there is only the balance of the extremes -- the uniting of the two ideas and concepts and idealogies that bring us to any point of understanding.
Yes. You were right - we have freewill; it was both our gift and our curse, in ways. But regardless, we will always have that. I have the ability to make my life a succession of random choices that will only lead me in circles about myself. I have the ability to live a purposeless life, a pointless random existence with no higher calling at all. But I am not bound to.
At the very same time, I have the ability to choose God. I have the ability to decide that my choices will not be random decisions made in a vacuum that will lead me only in circles. I can choose to allow myself- despite my faults and my inability to constantly choose correctly, wisely - to fall into line with the purpose, the life, the infinite plan that God designed from the very beginning - from Day 1. The life I was meant to lead.
But that life, I must choose. I am not automatically predestined to it, but I am also not automatically fated against it. I, in my freewill, must choose.
That's what all life comes down to then - a choice. The choice. Do I choose to live an existence in which my life will be guided only by my own mistakes -- by my own feeble understanding and my own inability to discern the future? Or will I allow God to lead me to the destination He created for me, despite the inevitable mistakes I will make?
The choice, as we discussed, is still mine.
-RK
PS. I owe a thank you to all of you who helped me with this. So -- thank you.
But You did, didn't You? You planned out the scope of this life, the destination of the end of it, and the purpose for the living it. And maybe they are all right about You -- maybe You don't have a pad and pencil where you scribble down everything I will have ever done and will do and have done. Maybe You really don't look down the spectrum of time at all points and know. Or maybe You do.
But it doesn't matter, does it?
It doesn't make the difference I made it out to make, last night. It doesn't change the purpose - the goal - the aim - the will of life. It doesn't make life pointless, random choices I decide in a vacuum and then enact in some sort stage that we consider this life to be. It doesn't mean that our choices are irrelevent, and it doesn't mean Your plan is not infinite.
Balance. Again, return to the idea - the symobl - the concept - the truth of balance. Return to the combiniation of day and night, light and dark, male and female, you and me. Return to the basis of everything that has formed a foundation for the thing. Return to the whole reason we've been doing this from the first place.
Love. Purpose. Balance.
There is no black, no white. There is grey -- there are shades of life. There are echelons of variation in the world. There are colors of diffent hues and shapes in different sizes. And all of that, taken into account, and balanced out - is life. There is no line between the sky and the ground. There is no horizon. There is no present. There is only the line we percieve between the two. There is only the line we percieve between balck and white. There is only a difference we percieve between you and me - between this and that -- between us and the rest of the universe.
In reality, all things are connected. All things have to balance with all others.
Likewise, there is only the balance of the extremes -- the uniting of the two ideas and concepts and idealogies that bring us to any point of understanding.
Yes. You were right - we have freewill; it was both our gift and our curse, in ways. But regardless, we will always have that. I have the ability to make my life a succession of random choices that will only lead me in circles about myself. I have the ability to live a purposeless life, a pointless random existence with no higher calling at all. But I am not bound to.
At the very same time, I have the ability to choose God. I have the ability to decide that my choices will not be random decisions made in a vacuum that will lead me only in circles. I can choose to allow myself- despite my faults and my inability to constantly choose correctly, wisely - to fall into line with the purpose, the life, the infinite plan that God designed from the very beginning - from Day 1. The life I was meant to lead.
But that life, I must choose. I am not automatically predestined to it, but I am also not automatically fated against it. I, in my freewill, must choose.
That's what all life comes down to then - a choice. The choice. Do I choose to live an existence in which my life will be guided only by my own mistakes -- by my own feeble understanding and my own inability to discern the future? Or will I allow God to lead me to the destination He created for me, despite the inevitable mistakes I will make?
The choice, as we discussed, is still mine.
-RK
PS. I owe a thank you to all of you who helped me with this. So -- thank you.
0 Thought(s):
Post a Comment
<< Home