pardon my language.

I'm angry at the world tonight, and how it operates. I'll apologize first. Then, I'll just jump right on in:

I'm really doing my best to try and not fuck up my life. Did I tell you that? That I'm trying to not be a failure - that I'm trying to do what is right. I thought I had told you, but then again - that didn't mean you were listening.

So I told you again. Because it was important that you heard it from me first...

But nobody is honest. No one ever really tells you how they feel -- or what they think -- or how they see things, until it's far too late. Until you've smashed your heart on the rocks and cracked your head on the fall and broken your back on the spikes, in fact.

Then, they'll say, "Well, I would have told you so. But I just never did."

I wish you would have. Told me then. Not now, not like this.

And so, you try the other time around to ask. But nobody is honest. Isn't that lovely? Isn't that helpful?

Everyone is so damn good at I told you so, that they never actually take the time to. Just so they can tell you so.

But I don't need to be told I was told so. I need to be told so first. So I can know. Not guess, not think, not just reason off my own logic. So that I can have your wisdom and your insight and your words - and your thoughts too. So I can be wise.

But wisdom doesn't come from you. But that's only because you refuse to give it.

Because everyone refuses to give it. Even when you ask, it seems.

And I don't know why.

But it hurts, anyway. I wish you'd just tell me...

-RK