i mean nothing to you
docile streams stretch over short gray carpet,
weaving across the chaotic, cluttered floor
back and forth, back and forth.
a breath barely moving - shivers in the dark,
setting ripples in slowly spiraling swirls
in and out, in and out.
flickers from a candle somewhere
show soft something scribbled on her wall
mingled with mud, etched in blood.
black tails sift from flicker tonuges
spinning marionettes, dancing pirouettes
round and round, round and round.
faint, merely a whisper in the distance there,
echoes like sick short screams or shattered glass;
echoes dull, echoes still.
shudder, stretch, and shed this veil.
letting everything spill and spill and spill.
just one more moment, one more breath...
-RLL ©2005
[please critique.]
weaving across the chaotic, cluttered floor
back and forth, back and forth.
a breath barely moving - shivers in the dark,
setting ripples in slowly spiraling swirls
in and out, in and out.
flickers from a candle somewhere
show soft something scribbled on her wall
mingled with mud, etched in blood.
black tails sift from flicker tonuges
spinning marionettes, dancing pirouettes
round and round, round and round.
faint, merely a whisper in the distance there,
echoes like sick short screams or shattered glass;
echoes dull, echoes still.
shudder, stretch, and shed this veil.
letting everything spill and spill and spill.
just one more moment, one more breath...
-RLL ©2005
[please critique.]
3 Thought(s):
Very nice, I love the repetition at the end of each stanza.
I feel like my eyes should be dripping blood and my mother just died. I think your desired effect was achieved... or maybe I'm just sensitive.
I like it. :)
My initial reaction:
Complicated.
I’ll need to mull it over more…
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