Spiritual High?
I'm building a school. Y'know, laying brick, schlopping mortar, pouring grout. It isn't exactly glamourous, or even remotely 'spiritual'. I don't think about what a wonderful God I have or how He is making me into an awesome spiritual giant while I'm out there. I think, 'Is that last block on the line?', 'Do I need to notch that block twice or three times?', 'Have I drunk enough water...and what time is it?'
I think about laying brick - about building a school. There's really nothing spiritually heightening about it. And when I'm walking back with my arm schlung over my hammer, that's in turn stuffed in my Home Depot(R) tool belt, I'm thinking about my headache and the dust, red dust all over me, and the people who seem so eager and kind even though we have no way to communicate more than a 'hello' or 'thank you'. I think about them.
And occasionally, I get tempted to think about myself, but it passes and I realize as if from nowhere - this is what it's like, doing what God wants me to do. Y'see because it isn't about how you feel about it or what you get out of it or the sorts of things you think of due to it. It really isn't about you at all. It's about them, about the thing you're building, about filling in the holes in that wall with grout and rocks and dirt and paperbags because that's just what you do when you build a brick wall.
And I've realized that's how God's work is. It's the sort of thing you never saw yourself doing, but you do it because it's just what you do. And it doesn't make you feel good or 'high' or spiritual inside. And if it does or doesn't, it doesn't matter. Because you don't do it to get closer to God or to prove something to everyone else. And you don't do it for any reason other than, well, what else would you do?
You've been sent to Pery to build a school house, so you'll go to Peru and you'll what? Get high from it like some sort of God-drug? Feel warm and good inside, feel better about your - like you drank some homemade chicken soup for your decrepit soul? No. You'll build a school house. Because God asked you to. And you'll know you did what you were meant to do. And you will be tired and worn and exhausted and hungry - but you'll have done it anyway. And when you're done, you'll go home and tell everyone you helped build a school house because God asked you to help build a school house, and now you're done - you may build a few more - should God ever ask.
And you'll still know God loves you just the same as before you went to Peru and built a school house. Save now you know what it looks like to help those in need. And you want to do more of that. But that's no great spiritual change of heart. It's just simply knowing and obeying God. That's all.
-RK
[transposed on 8.7.05 @ 20.30]
I think about laying brick - about building a school. There's really nothing spiritually heightening about it. And when I'm walking back with my arm schlung over my hammer, that's in turn stuffed in my Home Depot(R) tool belt, I'm thinking about my headache and the dust, red dust all over me, and the people who seem so eager and kind even though we have no way to communicate more than a 'hello' or 'thank you'. I think about them.
And occasionally, I get tempted to think about myself, but it passes and I realize as if from nowhere - this is what it's like, doing what God wants me to do. Y'see because it isn't about how you feel about it or what you get out of it or the sorts of things you think of due to it. It really isn't about you at all. It's about them, about the thing you're building, about filling in the holes in that wall with grout and rocks and dirt and paperbags because that's just what you do when you build a brick wall.
And I've realized that's how God's work is. It's the sort of thing you never saw yourself doing, but you do it because it's just what you do. And it doesn't make you feel good or 'high' or spiritual inside. And if it does or doesn't, it doesn't matter. Because you don't do it to get closer to God or to prove something to everyone else. And you don't do it for any reason other than, well, what else would you do?
You've been sent to Pery to build a school house, so you'll go to Peru and you'll what? Get high from it like some sort of God-drug? Feel warm and good inside, feel better about your - like you drank some homemade chicken soup for your decrepit soul? No. You'll build a school house. Because God asked you to. And you'll know you did what you were meant to do. And you will be tired and worn and exhausted and hungry - but you'll have done it anyway. And when you're done, you'll go home and tell everyone you helped build a school house because God asked you to help build a school house, and now you're done - you may build a few more - should God ever ask.
And you'll still know God loves you just the same as before you went to Peru and built a school house. Save now you know what it looks like to help those in need. And you want to do more of that. But that's no great spiritual change of heart. It's just simply knowing and obeying God. That's all.
-RK
[transposed on 8.7.05 @ 20.30]
2 Thought(s):
You know you absolutely and completely, utterly rock, eh?
Neh, I didn't.
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