wrong words in wrong ways to unstick first gear

I'm tired. Tired of the squimishness, in the pit of my stomach. Tired of the sinking in my heart when I remember what it really is. Tired.

What if I said it? Said I want to be happy again. Need something to help me. Something like Disneyland - but in a bottle, or a letter, or a pill. Something that will make me laugh when I get down; make the world good again. Despite.

I am terrified of all things,
frightened of the dark.
I am.
You are taller than a mountain,
deeper than the sea.
You are.
-------
I was closer to you back then.
I was happier.
I was.
You are fading further from me.
Why don't you come home to me.

Hold me. Hold me.
Take me with you cuz I'm lonely.

Yeah. That's about it. But can this be forever? Exile last a lifetime - banishment, an eternity? There must be some release. Some escape. Some way down off the mountain where there's still some peace.

It's just difficult to see. To get there. To know. To believe. To get unstuck again.

-RK