Warning! Unintelligible drivel of a bitter, insolent university bibliophile conscious well past midnight
You are being forewarned. If you still read on from here, consider it your own folly and an acid test of your insanity.
...I'm angry. Not just about the fact that I can't access any research for an essay I have due tomorrow at noon, nor just about the fact that I have a headache and feel sick and would rather be in bed. I'm angry about ... life.
Whenever I get to thinking, I always think about the way that things were and how I thought they would be now and how I wanted them to be in the future. Somehow, none of those ever end up lining up. This could be considered a good thing - but at this stage in my life, it makes me angry.
I'm angry that I've gotten thrown around so much. I'm angry that so many so-called "friends" have left scars in my back from the wounds they made stabbing me there. I'm angry about all of the issues I have thanks to enemies that proved better friends than the people I let into my safe places. I'm angry about goals that I feel I will never achieve - and achieved goals that I can't say are good enough. I'm angry about the current state of the term "university", and I'm angry at the current state of my being.
There are certain goals, certain guidelines that ought to be followed in one's life. I'm angry that I can't seem to get those straight enough to follow them. And there ought to be a sort of pattern that one follows throughout the years - a sort of map leading through all of the different terrains of ones experiences. I'm angry that I haven't found that map, and if I did that I would have no real ability to follow or even read it.
I'm angry about what I have become and what it means to look back on what I was before. I'm angry that I've made so many mistakes - and that the present isn't the future that I'd laid out so carefully.
I'm angry that I am supposed to be all grown up - and yet how much of a child I still feel at times. I'm angry that people still think I'm a teenager, just because I don't look like what an adult ought to look like or I don't think like an adult ought to think like.
And I'm angry that everyone finds it so easy to critize. I'm angry that people find life so easy to pick apart - and find something wrong with it. And I'm angry that I'm not as good as I thought I was, or wanted to be at the things I thought I ought to be.
Oh, and I'm angry that - after the end told itself, I was wrong about pretty much everything.
In short, I'm frustrated and angry. I realize this is a pointless, boring, and annoying ranting of a very angry college brat. But you must realize that basically - my night is going down hill quicker than a bobsledder on a bobsled run. And my head is pounding worse than a jackhammer on concrete. And my work is piling up higher than the walls of the Grand Canyon, and my mood is depreciating faster than the US dollar against the English Pound.
So at any rate, I'm in a terrible mood and I'm all done with wit. So, I'm not in a mood to worry about how drivelly or snivelling or annoying and teen-ish this entry sounds. I'm frankly just sick and tired of being stressed and annoyed - and yet still procastinating in spite of how terrible it all ends up being in the end.
There it all is. Take it or leave it for what it is worth. I am in a ravingly terrible mood and am in no state to be wise or witty or comical in any sense. Thus, I have ranted like a thirteen-year-old teeny-bopper with Bubble Yum and pig tails and a backstreet boys poster in the front of my three-ring binder.
If you don't like it, come back again later when I am more apt to write something well-versed and intuitive. Because, really - until then, all you are getting is college-student angst-ridden midnight-crazed drivel.
Deal with it.
-RK
...I'm angry. Not just about the fact that I can't access any research for an essay I have due tomorrow at noon, nor just about the fact that I have a headache and feel sick and would rather be in bed. I'm angry about ... life.
Whenever I get to thinking, I always think about the way that things were and how I thought they would be now and how I wanted them to be in the future. Somehow, none of those ever end up lining up. This could be considered a good thing - but at this stage in my life, it makes me angry.
I'm angry that I've gotten thrown around so much. I'm angry that so many so-called "friends" have left scars in my back from the wounds they made stabbing me there. I'm angry about all of the issues I have thanks to enemies that proved better friends than the people I let into my safe places. I'm angry about goals that I feel I will never achieve - and achieved goals that I can't say are good enough. I'm angry about the current state of the term "university", and I'm angry at the current state of my being.
There are certain goals, certain guidelines that ought to be followed in one's life. I'm angry that I can't seem to get those straight enough to follow them. And there ought to be a sort of pattern that one follows throughout the years - a sort of map leading through all of the different terrains of ones experiences. I'm angry that I haven't found that map, and if I did that I would have no real ability to follow or even read it.
I'm angry about what I have become and what it means to look back on what I was before. I'm angry that I've made so many mistakes - and that the present isn't the future that I'd laid out so carefully.
I'm angry that I am supposed to be all grown up - and yet how much of a child I still feel at times. I'm angry that people still think I'm a teenager, just because I don't look like what an adult ought to look like or I don't think like an adult ought to think like.
And I'm angry that everyone finds it so easy to critize. I'm angry that people find life so easy to pick apart - and find something wrong with it. And I'm angry that I'm not as good as I thought I was, or wanted to be at the things I thought I ought to be.
Oh, and I'm angry that - after the end told itself, I was wrong about pretty much everything.
In short, I'm frustrated and angry. I realize this is a pointless, boring, and annoying ranting of a very angry college brat. But you must realize that basically - my night is going down hill quicker than a bobsledder on a bobsled run. And my head is pounding worse than a jackhammer on concrete. And my work is piling up higher than the walls of the Grand Canyon, and my mood is depreciating faster than the US dollar against the English Pound.
So at any rate, I'm in a terrible mood and I'm all done with wit. So, I'm not in a mood to worry about how drivelly or snivelling or annoying and teen-ish this entry sounds. I'm frankly just sick and tired of being stressed and annoyed - and yet still procastinating in spite of how terrible it all ends up being in the end.
There it all is. Take it or leave it for what it is worth. I am in a ravingly terrible mood and am in no state to be wise or witty or comical in any sense. Thus, I have ranted like a thirteen-year-old teeny-bopper with Bubble Yum and pig tails and a backstreet boys poster in the front of my three-ring binder.
If you don't like it, come back again later when I am more apt to write something well-versed and intuitive. Because, really - until then, all you are getting is college-student angst-ridden midnight-crazed drivel.
Deal with it.
-RK
5 Thought(s):
I was warned and I enjoyed! :)
Yeah, you just about summed up the last 3 years of my college existence. Thank you. :) At least you did it for both of us! ;) And, hopefully you felt better... *smiles hopefully*
Alas, so much better. *sigh*
Well that's the whole point isn't it? Who cares if no one else likes it, darn it! You feel better. :)
That was kinda cool actually. MORE!
LOL... See, SOMEONE LIKED IT, besides me of course... :P
Post a Comment
<< Home