Half term, and no feasts
I can't believe that we are already at half term. I can't believe that half of my time left here, half of the days that I will spend at school here, half of the time left with friends that will go back to normal lives at the end of it - is over. I can't believe that it has been nearly two months...
I can't believe that we are on the eve of April, and that whence I return from my days of fun and jolliness - that time being spent doing the things I do - April will have sprung itself into being. The seasons are changing - the weather is warming - the sun is actually showing itself. The days are getting longer and longer, preparing for their dances in summer warmth. Yet I still cannot convince myself that it is true.
Three fourths of my year abroad is over. Three-fourths of the time I would spend "becoming someone else", as everyone had told me, is done. Three-fourths of another year from my life - over.
I have to admit that it feels so strange. Time has flown and crawled by at the same instant. I remember sitting here only what feels like days ago, rummaging through books and papers, getting ready for new classes. Now, time has passed itself, and here I sit - talking about half term and break; and still struggling to realize that it is next wednesday.
Next wednesday and I will have two weeks free from burden, free from papers and tests and homework. I will have two weeks from from all of the weight of just being here. And I will return in two weeks hence - to the last fourth of my time in this country. The last fourth of my time in a place that I feel I am just now beginning to know - just now growing accustom to. The last fourth in a strange place - that, stranger than not, actually feels like home.
In another two months - I will be leaving home. I will be leaving to return home. I will be leaving home for home. I will be leaving comfort for uncertainty. I will be leaving uncertainty for comfort. I will be leaving here, and ending up there. Yet leaving far off and returning to near.
And that, all in only one fourth of my time spent here in total. All of that - only in two small months. All of that, after all of the time I have passed trying to feel like I belong...all of that time feeling like I did - feeling like I know this place; feeling like I can come home. All of that, just to take it, pack it, and return home. And all in only one fourth the time. Only barely enough time left to convince myself that I am, really, not home yet.
-RK
I can't believe that we are on the eve of April, and that whence I return from my days of fun and jolliness - that time being spent doing the things I do - April will have sprung itself into being. The seasons are changing - the weather is warming - the sun is actually showing itself. The days are getting longer and longer, preparing for their dances in summer warmth. Yet I still cannot convince myself that it is true.
Three fourths of my year abroad is over. Three-fourths of the time I would spend "becoming someone else", as everyone had told me, is done. Three-fourths of another year from my life - over.
I have to admit that it feels so strange. Time has flown and crawled by at the same instant. I remember sitting here only what feels like days ago, rummaging through books and papers, getting ready for new classes. Now, time has passed itself, and here I sit - talking about half term and break; and still struggling to realize that it is next wednesday.
Next wednesday and I will have two weeks free from burden, free from papers and tests and homework. I will have two weeks from from all of the weight of just being here. And I will return in two weeks hence - to the last fourth of my time in this country. The last fourth of my time in a place that I feel I am just now beginning to know - just now growing accustom to. The last fourth in a strange place - that, stranger than not, actually feels like home.
In another two months - I will be leaving home. I will be leaving to return home. I will be leaving home for home. I will be leaving comfort for uncertainty. I will be leaving uncertainty for comfort. I will be leaving here, and ending up there. Yet leaving far off and returning to near.
And that, all in only one fourth of my time spent here in total. All of that - only in two small months. All of that, after all of the time I have passed trying to feel like I belong...all of that time feeling like I did - feeling like I know this place; feeling like I can come home. All of that, just to take it, pack it, and return home. And all in only one fourth the time. Only barely enough time left to convince myself that I am, really, not home yet.
-RK
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