Invariability
...the perfect word to describe the imperfectness of this concept. The idea that things do not vary, that life does not change, that all things are static and the same.
This idea terrifies me. I need change. I need new places and new people to meet and new landscapes to see and new things to do. I need things to vary - I need everything to vary. I can't stay in one place too long. I can't go back to old places and feel a kindling sense of warmth. I feel angst rising from old places - I feel dread seeping through cracks in old memories, reminding me of how things could just maybe not change.
Most people are scared to death of change.
I can't survive without it.
Always I seek a new sunrise under a new horizon, where everything feels fresh and reborn - like spring coming every single day.
And when things begin to feel common, when things begin to feel safe and comfortable - I want to get away from them. I want to find something else, something new. Something that changes.
I don't know that I will ever be ready to settle down, that this restless spirit in me will quiet - that the seeker of change will one day yearn for invariability.
I can't imagine that ever being a good thing - other than in personality. I can't imagine a like of invariability would be much good at all. Sigh. Maybe that is why I can't stand it when I begin to feel like I'm living one.
-RK
This idea terrifies me. I need change. I need new places and new people to meet and new landscapes to see and new things to do. I need things to vary - I need everything to vary. I can't stay in one place too long. I can't go back to old places and feel a kindling sense of warmth. I feel angst rising from old places - I feel dread seeping through cracks in old memories, reminding me of how things could just maybe not change.
Most people are scared to death of change.
I can't survive without it.
Always I seek a new sunrise under a new horizon, where everything feels fresh and reborn - like spring coming every single day.
And when things begin to feel common, when things begin to feel safe and comfortable - I want to get away from them. I want to find something else, something new. Something that changes.
I don't know that I will ever be ready to settle down, that this restless spirit in me will quiet - that the seeker of change will one day yearn for invariability.
I can't imagine that ever being a good thing - other than in personality. I can't imagine a like of invariability would be much good at all. Sigh. Maybe that is why I can't stand it when I begin to feel like I'm living one.
-RK
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