19 to 20, and so it was.
Sitting in my room now, eating Cheetos(R) Twisted(TM) with my roommate, Avi, who doesn't really like them...but we both want to eat them anyway.
I want to get my mind off of things. I have work I should be doing. A paper due on Friday, a chapter to read by tomorrow. But that isn't the sort of thinking I'm apt to be doing right now. I just want to get my mind off of it all...
The Cheetos(R) both help and don't. They bring back memories, memories I don't want to think about just yet - but they also occupy the thought process. Bite. Chew. Mush. Swallow. It makes life a little simpler, breaking it down like that - just things you do. Not really the things you think about, but just things you do.
I spent almost an hour writing a letter. I shouldn't have done that. I shouldn't be doing any of the things I'm doing right now. I should be doing my reading. I should be working on a paper I have no idea what I am writing about. I shouldn't be talking or eating or thinking...or spending an hour writing a letter.
It even be better if I just forgot my homework and went to bed. But I won't do that. Not since I got on the computer...not since I started writing. I won't go to bed, but I'll wake up tomorrow and I'll be tired and thus miserable - and I'll have to stay up all night writing a paper.
...But I won't do that either. I'll just sit here, in front of the computer, thinking...or brooding, or maybe even writing another letter for no one to read. Either way, I won't do what I need to do.
I'll eat 99c Cheetos (R) from home, and I'll sit here, thinking about how I ought not to be eating at midnight...and I'll go on just the same as I always have. Because that's what we do in life. We go on - just like we always have. Even when things change, even when things are wrong and we can't get a grip on anything, even when the world is breaking to pieces and we don't know why - we just go on, like we always have.
Sigh. So that's just what I'll do. Go on. Just like I always have...
-RK
I want to get my mind off of things. I have work I should be doing. A paper due on Friday, a chapter to read by tomorrow. But that isn't the sort of thinking I'm apt to be doing right now. I just want to get my mind off of it all...
The Cheetos(R) both help and don't. They bring back memories, memories I don't want to think about just yet - but they also occupy the thought process. Bite. Chew. Mush. Swallow. It makes life a little simpler, breaking it down like that - just things you do. Not really the things you think about, but just things you do.
I spent almost an hour writing a letter. I shouldn't have done that. I shouldn't be doing any of the things I'm doing right now. I should be doing my reading. I should be working on a paper I have no idea what I am writing about. I shouldn't be talking or eating or thinking...or spending an hour writing a letter.
It even be better if I just forgot my homework and went to bed. But I won't do that. Not since I got on the computer...not since I started writing. I won't go to bed, but I'll wake up tomorrow and I'll be tired and thus miserable - and I'll have to stay up all night writing a paper.
...But I won't do that either. I'll just sit here, in front of the computer, thinking...or brooding, or maybe even writing another letter for no one to read. Either way, I won't do what I need to do.
I'll eat 99c Cheetos (R) from home, and I'll sit here, thinking about how I ought not to be eating at midnight...and I'll go on just the same as I always have. Because that's what we do in life. We go on - just like we always have. Even when things change, even when things are wrong and we can't get a grip on anything, even when the world is breaking to pieces and we don't know why - we just go on, like we always have.
Sigh. So that's just what I'll do. Go on. Just like I always have...
-RK
0 Thought(s):
Post a Comment
<< Home