Well, yesternight was useless.
Although I had a good time going to the BP, and prospectively being either kidnapped or attacked by unforeseen attackers down some random dark alley at 00.00 in the morning, I have a feeling that in general - the night was more than normal spent fairly uselessly.
The list of things I did was comprehensive, yet so completely irrelevant that I won't even bother. Namely, I did not sleep.
I stared, ponderously broodingly, into my soft moss green duvet cover, thinking of how I'd like to be asleep. But wasn't all the while. I blew my nose countless times and even sucked on a coughdrop - but alas, it did not ease my pain either.
I attempted, quite vainly, to sheild my eyes from the oncoming blaze of street lamps. That too was a useless effort, showing no more success in aiding my sleep than the occasional tissue party that served to severely punctuate the tender reddness under the tip of my quite unhappy nasal passage. This only intensified my misery throughout the night.
I was hot. Not cold in the dead of winter with the window open. oh no. I was hot. Unsufferably really. But still somehow could not find the disheartening strength to open the window an extra inch and therefore, and almost immediately, freeze out my poor compadre who inevitably sleeps much closer to the window - as well as more soundly on this account. I think.
There were dreams, I'm sure. But they were all fairly useless enough to not recall. I may not have even aquired any REM by the time I "awoke", if you could even bother to really call it that. Honestly, I have no verification of the statement either way. The only verification I have is the bags under my eyes to intensify the zombie-look I have managed to neatly pull of for the day by combining no sleep with no shower and a half-picked wardrobe.
So, it was 7.00 whereabouts I decided to lie there and suffer in my agony, finally flipping on my back in a pathetic hope to aquire a smithereen of rest. Soon, to thwart my plans, the clock read 7.35 and I realized it would be useless to try much longer.
I flung myself out of bed to grab a sip of water and a trip to the potty - only to realize I felt quite awake - even rested, which I realize is in no way a rational realization. But being the dubious fool I am, I smothered myself once again amongst the mossy green agony I'd laid in all the night...or rather an irrelevant portion of the night long.
It was not until the alarm went off for the first time at 8.16 that I felt I was getting some real rest. This is not ironic. It is expected. It should go without saying, really.
I laid in my pathetic groveling for another 20 minutes before I decided better against any further puttings-off of the day and roused myself. Feeling groggy now instead of the alert awareness with which I had sprung myself from the nest at 7.35 - my legs buckeled nearly instantly and I was forced to relive the horror of running in the cold of the previous day. A serious mistake, might I add.
To continue the horror, I gathered up my laundry and hauled it off. It was cold out. Clearly, this again was fate. My boots rubbed, attempting to cause blisters, but I foiled them before they could foil me.
In class, the spout of sickness which has become my nasal and sinus cavities became a constant thorn in my face. However, seeing as I had not thought of this before stumbling, half blind - half lame, from my room at 8.55, I was forced to suffer through with one measly tissue until break, which relieved me of at least one ill.
But of course, the day could not get better. Chapel was dull. The firedrill - pointless. And my body - cramped and stiff.
The fact that I have come to a point of constant obsesssion with pushing my shoulders back so that I do not become a hunched old woman by my 30's only adds to the terrible succession of events; for this obsession only comes upon me at moments such at 5.00 - when I ought to be asleep but am rather noticing how I hunch my shoulders when I lie down to sleep. Considering this is a dangerous habit, there is no better time than the present. And thus, you can imagine how that bit of my night went - adding to the snowball effect of my fate.
Sadly, the overall effect was poor. The overall night - inhumane. And the overall day thus far - painful. I am not feeling any immediate need to radicate myself of the bitter brooding which has become my day, which really adds to the problem - and so, it shall continue much into the night I fear.
And unfortunately, it will probably not much improve over the next multiples of hours either.
And although I realize, with much annoyance which only adds to my filling of bitter angst, that this has been nothing more than a gargantuan pity party for myself, grab a party hat, my friend - because it ain't over yet.
-RK
The list of things I did was comprehensive, yet so completely irrelevant that I won't even bother. Namely, I did not sleep.
I stared, ponderously broodingly, into my soft moss green duvet cover, thinking of how I'd like to be asleep. But wasn't all the while. I blew my nose countless times and even sucked on a coughdrop - but alas, it did not ease my pain either.
I attempted, quite vainly, to sheild my eyes from the oncoming blaze of street lamps. That too was a useless effort, showing no more success in aiding my sleep than the occasional tissue party that served to severely punctuate the tender reddness under the tip of my quite unhappy nasal passage. This only intensified my misery throughout the night.
I was hot. Not cold in the dead of winter with the window open. oh no. I was hot. Unsufferably really. But still somehow could not find the disheartening strength to open the window an extra inch and therefore, and almost immediately, freeze out my poor compadre who inevitably sleeps much closer to the window - as well as more soundly on this account. I think.
There were dreams, I'm sure. But they were all fairly useless enough to not recall. I may not have even aquired any REM by the time I "awoke", if you could even bother to really call it that. Honestly, I have no verification of the statement either way. The only verification I have is the bags under my eyes to intensify the zombie-look I have managed to neatly pull of for the day by combining no sleep with no shower and a half-picked wardrobe.
So, it was 7.00 whereabouts I decided to lie there and suffer in my agony, finally flipping on my back in a pathetic hope to aquire a smithereen of rest. Soon, to thwart my plans, the clock read 7.35 and I realized it would be useless to try much longer.
I flung myself out of bed to grab a sip of water and a trip to the potty - only to realize I felt quite awake - even rested, which I realize is in no way a rational realization. But being the dubious fool I am, I smothered myself once again amongst the mossy green agony I'd laid in all the night...or rather an irrelevant portion of the night long.
It was not until the alarm went off for the first time at 8.16 that I felt I was getting some real rest. This is not ironic. It is expected. It should go without saying, really.
I laid in my pathetic groveling for another 20 minutes before I decided better against any further puttings-off of the day and roused myself. Feeling groggy now instead of the alert awareness with which I had sprung myself from the nest at 7.35 - my legs buckeled nearly instantly and I was forced to relive the horror of running in the cold of the previous day. A serious mistake, might I add.
To continue the horror, I gathered up my laundry and hauled it off. It was cold out. Clearly, this again was fate. My boots rubbed, attempting to cause blisters, but I foiled them before they could foil me.
In class, the spout of sickness which has become my nasal and sinus cavities became a constant thorn in my face. However, seeing as I had not thought of this before stumbling, half blind - half lame, from my room at 8.55, I was forced to suffer through with one measly tissue until break, which relieved me of at least one ill.
But of course, the day could not get better. Chapel was dull. The firedrill - pointless. And my body - cramped and stiff.
The fact that I have come to a point of constant obsesssion with pushing my shoulders back so that I do not become a hunched old woman by my 30's only adds to the terrible succession of events; for this obsession only comes upon me at moments such at 5.00 - when I ought to be asleep but am rather noticing how I hunch my shoulders when I lie down to sleep. Considering this is a dangerous habit, there is no better time than the present. And thus, you can imagine how that bit of my night went - adding to the snowball effect of my fate.
Sadly, the overall effect was poor. The overall night - inhumane. And the overall day thus far - painful. I am not feeling any immediate need to radicate myself of the bitter brooding which has become my day, which really adds to the problem - and so, it shall continue much into the night I fear.
And unfortunately, it will probably not much improve over the next multiples of hours either.
And although I realize, with much annoyance which only adds to my filling of bitter angst, that this has been nothing more than a gargantuan pity party for myself, grab a party hat, my friend - because it ain't over yet.
-RK
1 Thought(s):
I don't even know where to begin to say something, so I just thought I'd post and say I read your post and show my sympathy as a friend.
- Slack
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