Ohio calls for..Florida?!
I've been sitting here all afternoon...
BUT JUST LOOK ATTA MAH BLOG!
In't she a beaut?!
Yes. I am proud. Okay? I am.
But that's not all...
stayed up until 6:30 watching the US election. That was hell. It was funny...but it was hell. Mostly really just because at the end of it - at like, oh say 6:30 they switched to Breakfast BBC and the answer never came back who won and the numbers weren't constantly on the screen - and the anchor was too fresh...and really, I was mostly just peeved that it was 6:30 in the morning, I'd stayed up ALL night - and the vote didn't even come it [curse you OHIO, NEW MEXICO, IOWA, and WISCONSIN!...but really just OHIO!!!]
OK so, around 4 or 5-ish the anchors and correspondents and pundits and interviewees and what have you started to look like they needed the stage hook.
Then, they gave em it. That was funny.
And they pulled out this fresh news anchor and switch programs - but they just play it all off like aboslutely nothing happened. Nothing!....Ooh, that reminds me - I need a cowboy and fresh anchor in my pocket.
For what? I can hear you asking me. For emergencies Silly!
Yes, yes - because you never know when you'll need to a) wrangle up some cows or b) cover a fast-breaking news story in which you are just too tired.
So really - it's the perfect solution to all problems around the world. For if we all had one cowboy and one fresh news anchor in our pockets - there would be world peace and we would all be so much happier.
It must be so. It must be.
Well, back on track anyway - the electorial night was...well, something I wish I could have simply voted against. But it's not so important really. It was fun. We laughed hysterically, we made stupid jokes about nearly everything, we screamed in terror when the slate noises came on...
...we left messages for Bush from Florida, Ohio, Idaho, Ohio, Texas, Ohio, Missouri, Ohio, South Dakota, North Dakota, Ohio, Arkansas, Ohio, Montana, Ohio, Oklahoma...oh, yeah - and Ohio.
[Hmm. maybe a bit of explanation. On the BBC news coverage of the elections, everytime a state would call in their vote - it would read "DC called for Kerry", "Arkansas called for Bush". So then, it's late, and we start to think...wait, the states are calling for Bush and/or Kerry? Hold the phone {that's ironic!}. So it's like they tried to get a hold of Bush and be like - "Oh yeah, Bush, don't worry we voted for you" But you know, he's at his party thing...which by the way looked like hell for him. He's in a tiny room with these schizo camera flashes going off every second....but ANYWHO! So we are thinking like the state tried to call, but he wasn't there...so they have to leave a message. Then, later, Bush goes back and listens to the messages with a clipboard and just checks off the states that called...and that's how we really figure out who wins - just messages on answering machines!]
Most of them came along something sort of like
*beep* Bush. Bush are you there? Umm, yeah, Bush this is Idaho. You totally got us. *beep*
*beep* Bush? Okay, well this is Montana. Yeah, we're for you. *beep*
*beep* Uhh, hi there Bush. This is Arkansas. We voted for you.*beep*
*beep* Bush. Florida here. Looked close, but yeah you got us. *beep*
*beep* Yep. *beep*
-Bush checks off Texas-
random supporter: Wait. How did you know that was...
Bush: I know.
But theeeen....we come to Ohio. sigh.
Ohio.
*shakes head*
Oh Ohio.
We woulda thought you were Florida, Ohio.
That message came across someething like THIS:
*beep* Yeah, Bush. This is Ohio. We think you got us. *click* *beep*
*beep* Sorry Bush. Looks like we were wrong, you don't got us yet. *click* *beep*
*beep* Bush. Ohio again. Yeah, we're pretty sure this time. It's a go. *click* *beep*
*beep* Bush. Bush are you there? Yeah, that's looking like a no again. *click* *beep*
*beep* Okay, Bush, I think this is the final coun...oh, wait. No. Sorry. Not yet. *click* *beep*
*beep* Okay, I think this is it. yep, pretty sure you got us. *click* *beep*
*beep* Uh yeah, Bush. This is Ohio again. I don't know what's going on, but someone just came in here and sait we voted for Nader! *click* *beep*
..Then, later, [or was it before????] Kerry came on national television and announced that he was in love with a student at Newbold College and he was pulling out. Confused, the electoral counters looked from each other to the piles of ballots. What ought to they do with Kerry's votes?
What? What was that? Give them to Nader?
Well...why not?
So they did. And the world turned upside down, and Nader won! They went in to his "celebration party" where they were drinking....water. And eating...bread. And they told him he won!
We had a party. Ghandi came and blessed him and Jimi Hendrix played the national anthem. And then...
Someone came in and said there was a horrible mistake and that everything was going to just go back to normal.
...You should have seen the look on Nader's face. sigh.
But things really did go back to normal - so everything is okay again.
*whew*
Well, if nothing else - that shows you what Caro will do to you at 4 o'clock in the morning when you have been scrambling to scribble down names like "Frank Simpson" and "Former Bush SpeechWriter - Pundit" and the such - accumulating to over a PAGE of pointless names that you don't even remember straight the next minute.
But not to leave out MapMan and the bar hopping correspondent...who interviewed Jerry Springer [I'm not joking!] That was a good one.
And there was the random hair bald man and the Dan Ackroid impersonator - with the hands...that was a classic. And the woman who needed a warm bed and stage hook.
Overall - it was splendid really. But to say the least I got through my presentation and I am going to get through the rest of the week - and it is going to be better than...well, that.
Not to mention the brand new plethora of jokes that can still even now spring from that night. Oh the prospect of it.
Oh the prospect.
But now I have to go to London and stand with a taxi-ish sign that reads "People who really didn't like Bush fresh from the USA" and smack all the losers as they come in and think we will accept them. Ha! But I must go and college Widge so he can yell at them while I whack them with ample force. It will be lovely. Silly democrats ;D
And if I haven't made this clear - quite satisfied that Bush won. And have new respect for Kerry's consession. He made a far better loser than Gore ever did. I must admit that while I can't say much for what he would have done for the country (because I'm not sure he ever did either) - but I do have new respect for him as a human being...and that counts.
A flag wave to Kerry. That's right. A flag wave to Kerry.
And a high five to Bush.
If I haven't been living as a sheep in the land of the wolves, I don't know what would be.
But either way, I must say thank you to Widge for bearing through the night with me enough to see them stage hook all the pundits and whip out the fresh anchor.
It was touching of them. Deeply. Really.
Or maybe it was the hour of the morning in contrast to my lost hours of sleep?
Either way, it was good.
-RK
BUT JUST LOOK ATTA MAH BLOG!
In't she a beaut?!
Yes. I am proud. Okay? I am.
But that's not all...
stayed up until 6:30 watching the US election. That was hell. It was funny...but it was hell. Mostly really just because at the end of it - at like, oh say 6:30 they switched to Breakfast BBC and the answer never came back who won and the numbers weren't constantly on the screen - and the anchor was too fresh...and really, I was mostly just peeved that it was 6:30 in the morning, I'd stayed up ALL night - and the vote didn't even come it [curse you OHIO, NEW MEXICO, IOWA, and WISCONSIN!...but really just OHIO!!!]
OK so, around 4 or 5-ish the anchors and correspondents and pundits and interviewees and what have you started to look like they needed the stage hook.
Then, they gave em it. That was funny.
And they pulled out this fresh news anchor and switch programs - but they just play it all off like aboslutely nothing happened. Nothing!....Ooh, that reminds me - I need a cowboy and fresh anchor in my pocket.
For what? I can hear you asking me. For emergencies Silly!
Yes, yes - because you never know when you'll need to a) wrangle up some cows or b) cover a fast-breaking news story in which you are just too tired.
So really - it's the perfect solution to all problems around the world. For if we all had one cowboy and one fresh news anchor in our pockets - there would be world peace and we would all be so much happier.
It must be so. It must be.
Well, back on track anyway - the electorial night was...well, something I wish I could have simply voted against. But it's not so important really. It was fun. We laughed hysterically, we made stupid jokes about nearly everything, we screamed in terror when the slate noises came on...
...we left messages for Bush from Florida, Ohio, Idaho, Ohio, Texas, Ohio, Missouri, Ohio, South Dakota, North Dakota, Ohio, Arkansas, Ohio, Montana, Ohio, Oklahoma...oh, yeah - and Ohio.
[Hmm. maybe a bit of explanation. On the BBC news coverage of the elections, everytime a state would call in their vote - it would read "DC called for Kerry", "Arkansas called for Bush". So then, it's late, and we start to think...wait, the states are calling for Bush and/or Kerry? Hold the phone {that's ironic!}. So it's like they tried to get a hold of Bush and be like - "Oh yeah, Bush, don't worry we voted for you" But you know, he's at his party thing...which by the way looked like hell for him. He's in a tiny room with these schizo camera flashes going off every second....but ANYWHO! So we are thinking like the state tried to call, but he wasn't there...so they have to leave a message. Then, later, Bush goes back and listens to the messages with a clipboard and just checks off the states that called...and that's how we really figure out who wins - just messages on answering machines!]
Most of them came along something sort of like
*beep* Bush. Bush are you there? Umm, yeah, Bush this is Idaho. You totally got us. *beep*
*beep* Bush? Okay, well this is Montana. Yeah, we're for you. *beep*
*beep* Uhh, hi there Bush. This is Arkansas. We voted for you.*beep*
*beep* Bush. Florida here. Looked close, but yeah you got us. *beep*
*beep* Yep. *beep*
-Bush checks off Texas-
random supporter: Wait. How did you know that was...
Bush: I know.
But theeeen....we come to Ohio. sigh.
Ohio.
*shakes head*
Oh Ohio.
We woulda thought you were Florida, Ohio.
That message came across someething like THIS:
*beep* Yeah, Bush. This is Ohio. We think you got us. *click* *beep*
*beep* Sorry Bush. Looks like we were wrong, you don't got us yet. *click* *beep*
*beep* Bush. Ohio again. Yeah, we're pretty sure this time. It's a go. *click* *beep*
*beep* Bush. Bush are you there? Yeah, that's looking like a no again. *click* *beep*
*beep* Okay, Bush, I think this is the final coun...oh, wait. No. Sorry. Not yet. *click* *beep*
*beep* Okay, I think this is it. yep, pretty sure you got us. *click* *beep*
*beep* Uh yeah, Bush. This is Ohio again. I don't know what's going on, but someone just came in here and sait we voted for Nader! *click* *beep*
..Then, later, [or was it before????] Kerry came on national television and announced that he was in love with a student at Newbold College and he was pulling out. Confused, the electoral counters looked from each other to the piles of ballots. What ought to they do with Kerry's votes?
What? What was that? Give them to Nader?
Well...why not?
So they did. And the world turned upside down, and Nader won! They went in to his "celebration party" where they were drinking....water. And eating...bread. And they told him he won!
We had a party. Ghandi came and blessed him and Jimi Hendrix played the national anthem. And then...
Someone came in and said there was a horrible mistake and that everything was going to just go back to normal.
...You should have seen the look on Nader's face. sigh.
But things really did go back to normal - so everything is okay again.
*whew*
Well, if nothing else - that shows you what Caro will do to you at 4 o'clock in the morning when you have been scrambling to scribble down names like "Frank Simpson" and "Former Bush SpeechWriter - Pundit" and the such - accumulating to over a PAGE of pointless names that you don't even remember straight the next minute.
But not to leave out MapMan and the bar hopping correspondent...who interviewed Jerry Springer [I'm not joking!] That was a good one.
And there was the random hair bald man and the Dan Ackroid impersonator - with the hands...that was a classic. And the woman who needed a warm bed and stage hook.
Overall - it was splendid really. But to say the least I got through my presentation and I am going to get through the rest of the week - and it is going to be better than...well, that.
Not to mention the brand new plethora of jokes that can still even now spring from that night. Oh the prospect of it.
Oh the prospect.
But now I have to go to London and stand with a taxi-ish sign that reads "People who really didn't like Bush fresh from the USA" and smack all the losers as they come in and think we will accept them. Ha! But I must go and college Widge so he can yell at them while I whack them with ample force. It will be lovely. Silly democrats ;D
And if I haven't made this clear - quite satisfied that Bush won. And have new respect for Kerry's consession. He made a far better loser than Gore ever did. I must admit that while I can't say much for what he would have done for the country (because I'm not sure he ever did either) - but I do have new respect for him as a human being...and that counts.
A flag wave to Kerry. That's right. A flag wave to Kerry.
And a high five to Bush.
If I haven't been living as a sheep in the land of the wolves, I don't know what would be.
But either way, I must say thank you to Widge for bearing through the night with me enough to see them stage hook all the pundits and whip out the fresh anchor.
It was touching of them. Deeply. Really.
Or maybe it was the hour of the morning in contrast to my lost hours of sleep?
Either way, it was good.
-RK
6 Thought(s):
Hehehe WISH I had stayed for the rest of the night! But I'd have been asleep anyway so wouldn't have done me much good... I still just LOVE the *beep* "Yep." *beep* one! Hehehe
But I think it's Dan Aykroyd or some weird shpelling like zat.
Oh my woman, you must have been really worked up about the elections... so was I but at least it wasn't 6am! :P Miss you!
missah you too!
Ooo, the party was the greatest party in the whole history of great-party greatness!!
Ghandi said some pretty stiring stuff and Jimi was all *totally* wailing on that guitar of his!!
daooo daooo daoooooooo daooo daoo daooo daooooooooooooooooo *guitar noises with air guitarness*
and then there were fireworks *inside the building*!!!
and no one even got hurt! (except that one poor guy who got one to the stomach, but no one noticed: they were all too happy!)
and then Ghandi was all like, "Peace is cool!" and stuff and everyone was like, "Yeah Ghandi! You the man!"
and then Nader all went up to go and accept presidency but then that messenger guy ran in and was all like, "Hey! Everybody! There's been a terrible mistake! Kerry is back in the election!"
and everybody was like, "......cool!"
and Nader was all, "....a-...a-...awwww" you know, with that look like you just dropped something priceless (the hands and everything!)
it was great, you should have watched it! (for whoever decided not to: fools!)
wow, I think Widge is a smoker.
Vote? In favor: AYE!
Opposed:... *cricket cricket*
That's it. It's official - Widge is a smoker.
ROFL!
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