Few hours into the morning after
So the dawn breaks and the birds begin to sing...but thank goodness at last I've gone to bed. Falling asleep last night, or rather this morning wasn't so difficult in the end - I was tired and the restfulness did come well.
It was unplagued by the ngihtmares and dreams that taunt you as you try to fall into the black, warm void that sleep is so often. There was no ill-feelings or even fear as I tumbled into the sweet world wherein lied my rest.
But it was when the morning came - when the sun had risen in the light gray sky and the world all around me looked a little different and felt a little less well - that I started to think about things...
And then the impact hit - and the world started to crumble again.
In the midst of it my "Oh God"s and my "God save me"s and my "I see you know, but why...why did this come to pass"s was it that I began to finally have my clentched eyelids pryed open. Once they were, I saw a face standing there with hands that I have not felt in so long, embracing me as I trembled from the inside out - the feelings, the emotions tumbling over my mind like water over the rocks of a smooth waterfall.
And with them fell the dreams from the realities. From the rocks of my conscious fell the hopes from the truths, the desires from the acceptances, the will from the way.
And as I stood in arms that I had thought for so long had forgotten me, my head now resting on the only place of solace - I found that only the shattering of my illusions, of the facades I had set up could have brought on the vision that I saw now before me.
The Lord, his strong arm wrapped around my shoulder, holding me closely as my spirit wept into the robe of his ever-pleasing will.
It is strange how one oft times believes that one is in a place of cold and lonely alientation when it is only because one cannot see the hands that are holding them up. But it is only when the shadows are told to flee, when the lies are drawn out like the venom from a wound - that the child can see how to be whole again.
I was, for far too long, living in a dream world that I knew I had created of my own imagination. And yet, from here I will go a completely different way. I will carry with me the scars of this fire, and yet I will bear with my also the knowledge of what I have learned.
And I may never have the strength to trust as I did before. I may never love like I took the chance to love before. But one thing will be true, at least I will have learned and I will hav seen the way it was before me...
and I will have taken the road that diverges a different way.
-RK
It was unplagued by the ngihtmares and dreams that taunt you as you try to fall into the black, warm void that sleep is so often. There was no ill-feelings or even fear as I tumbled into the sweet world wherein lied my rest.
But it was when the morning came - when the sun had risen in the light gray sky and the world all around me looked a little different and felt a little less well - that I started to think about things...
And then the impact hit - and the world started to crumble again.
In the midst of it my "Oh God"s and my "God save me"s and my "I see you know, but why...why did this come to pass"s was it that I began to finally have my clentched eyelids pryed open. Once they were, I saw a face standing there with hands that I have not felt in so long, embracing me as I trembled from the inside out - the feelings, the emotions tumbling over my mind like water over the rocks of a smooth waterfall.
And with them fell the dreams from the realities. From the rocks of my conscious fell the hopes from the truths, the desires from the acceptances, the will from the way.
And as I stood in arms that I had thought for so long had forgotten me, my head now resting on the only place of solace - I found that only the shattering of my illusions, of the facades I had set up could have brought on the vision that I saw now before me.
The Lord, his strong arm wrapped around my shoulder, holding me closely as my spirit wept into the robe of his ever-pleasing will.
It is strange how one oft times believes that one is in a place of cold and lonely alientation when it is only because one cannot see the hands that are holding them up. But it is only when the shadows are told to flee, when the lies are drawn out like the venom from a wound - that the child can see how to be whole again.
I was, for far too long, living in a dream world that I knew I had created of my own imagination. And yet, from here I will go a completely different way. I will carry with me the scars of this fire, and yet I will bear with my also the knowledge of what I have learned.
And I may never have the strength to trust as I did before. I may never love like I took the chance to love before. But one thing will be true, at least I will have learned and I will hav seen the way it was before me...
and I will have taken the road that diverges a different way.
-RK
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