Time for a bit of honesty...
I'm not as strong, mature, or as dignified as I seem. If you want honesty, I am terrified.
I'm thousands of miles from home. I got a bladder/yeast infection the first day I was here. Today I woke up with my face swollen and little red dots all over. The rest of the day, my face stung everytime I touched it. It hasn't improved and I don't know how to fix it.
School registration is tomorrow. I have no idea who my advisor is or where he/she is even located. I don't know where or how to regsiter, even what I am supposed to be registering for. I have to get a job, but I missed my "appointment" on Friday.
My dad is leaving the day after tomorrow. I know hardly anyone, and I know where nothing on campus is - much less how to get to there. I don't know how classes, mail, visitations, signing in and out, or even how my own phone card works because I'm too worried of doing it wrong.
I only have internet because my dad sat here and worked it all out - but that is gone in two months.
I don't have any money.
I don't even have a desk. I have a busted oval table with two people's junk (mostly mind) piled atop it.
I still have to return a CD player that buzzez. I still have things I have to buy. My jewelry is still in tupperware. I don't even know if a third person is moving into my room.
I don't know where, how, or even when to buy books. Classes start on Thursday - and I don't even know where a bookstore for the school is. I have to attend four worships a week, starting next week I guess. I don't even know when one is.
I can't get anything straight, and things keep going wrong that never even did before. And I know most of you would say, Well, it isn't that difficult. Just grow up.
Well I am trying to. But it isn't easy when you feel...and look like I do right now. It's like there is an elephant on my shoulders and I'm being asked to do the highrise act at the Picadilly Circus!
And right now, it just seems to be piling up and nothing seems to be becoming certain. I have no schedule, no classes, no job - and a room with no enough furniture, too many beds, and a roommate that hasn't shown up.
So if I seem a little confused, a little dense, and a little like bursting into tears at Bambi, I think maybe you can understand.
-RK
I'm thousands of miles from home. I got a bladder/yeast infection the first day I was here. Today I woke up with my face swollen and little red dots all over. The rest of the day, my face stung everytime I touched it. It hasn't improved and I don't know how to fix it.
School registration is tomorrow. I have no idea who my advisor is or where he/she is even located. I don't know where or how to regsiter, even what I am supposed to be registering for. I have to get a job, but I missed my "appointment" on Friday.
My dad is leaving the day after tomorrow. I know hardly anyone, and I know where nothing on campus is - much less how to get to there. I don't know how classes, mail, visitations, signing in and out, or even how my own phone card works because I'm too worried of doing it wrong.
I only have internet because my dad sat here and worked it all out - but that is gone in two months.
I don't have any money.
I don't even have a desk. I have a busted oval table with two people's junk (mostly mind) piled atop it.
I still have to return a CD player that buzzez. I still have things I have to buy. My jewelry is still in tupperware. I don't even know if a third person is moving into my room.
I don't know where, how, or even when to buy books. Classes start on Thursday - and I don't even know where a bookstore for the school is. I have to attend four worships a week, starting next week I guess. I don't even know when one is.
I can't get anything straight, and things keep going wrong that never even did before. And I know most of you would say, Well, it isn't that difficult. Just grow up.
Well I am trying to. But it isn't easy when you feel...and look like I do right now. It's like there is an elephant on my shoulders and I'm being asked to do the highrise act at the Picadilly Circus!
And right now, it just seems to be piling up and nothing seems to be becoming certain. I have no schedule, no classes, no job - and a room with no enough furniture, too many beds, and a roommate that hasn't shown up.
So if I seem a little confused, a little dense, and a little like bursting into tears at Bambi, I think maybe you can understand.
-RK
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