to have...
...been close enough to touch you. To have listened to your breath and yet see that you are still far from me. To have known that you were beside me all the while.
...believed in something with all of my heart.
...been afraid of the unknown, of letting go.
...faith in the things I can't understand or see how they can be. To have fought, maybe even conquered - but truly never given up.
...dreamt for a lifetime only to wake up now...and not understand it.
...feelings that I can't define. To have rain in my heart that I can't just sweep away.
...fear.
...loved more than I knew how, and lost more than I ever thought I could.
...hope.
...a world full of things inside of me that I don't know what to do with. To see all of life around me and to see your eyes inches from mine, and yet not able to reach out. Not able to be that kind of free...
I believe with my heart, I don't have to believe with my hands. Cuz faith is so much more than coincidence, it's the evidence.
Time is the hardest thing in the world to give. I'd rather give hugs or candy or presents or words of encouragement. Becuase time is the hardest gift to give to someone - because you don't know what it really means until it's done.
*sigh* Life isn't fair...
I sometimes wish it was...because I miss being happy.
But for now, life will get a little more confusing with each passing day - then one day the fog will break, and I'll see the path that I'd been walking on. And then I will know...know that I got to the top of the mountain without dying. But I won't know that I'll make it until I'm there - until I'm on the top of the mountian and the fog shatters so I can see the sun again.
Because I don't have a map, and I don't have a compass either. All I have is the stars by night and my strength by day; and the voice that tells me all too loudly the way that I ought to go...time and time again.
If only life were more simple than it so often appears to be. Maybe it can be; maybe we make it too hard....maybe we just need to pray...
Prayer changes things...and everything is different now...so it has to have done something here...
-RK
...believed in something with all of my heart.
...been afraid of the unknown, of letting go.
...faith in the things I can't understand or see how they can be. To have fought, maybe even conquered - but truly never given up.
...dreamt for a lifetime only to wake up now...and not understand it.
...feelings that I can't define. To have rain in my heart that I can't just sweep away.
...fear.
...loved more than I knew how, and lost more than I ever thought I could.
...hope.
...a world full of things inside of me that I don't know what to do with. To see all of life around me and to see your eyes inches from mine, and yet not able to reach out. Not able to be that kind of free...
I believe with my heart, I don't have to believe with my hands. Cuz faith is so much more than coincidence, it's the evidence.
Time is the hardest thing in the world to give. I'd rather give hugs or candy or presents or words of encouragement. Becuase time is the hardest gift to give to someone - because you don't know what it really means until it's done.
*sigh* Life isn't fair...
I sometimes wish it was...because I miss being happy.
But for now, life will get a little more confusing with each passing day - then one day the fog will break, and I'll see the path that I'd been walking on. And then I will know...know that I got to the top of the mountain without dying. But I won't know that I'll make it until I'm there - until I'm on the top of the mountian and the fog shatters so I can see the sun again.
Because I don't have a map, and I don't have a compass either. All I have is the stars by night and my strength by day; and the voice that tells me all too loudly the way that I ought to go...time and time again.
If only life were more simple than it so often appears to be. Maybe it can be; maybe we make it too hard....maybe we just need to pray...
Prayer changes things...and everything is different now...so it has to have done something here...
-RK
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