Searching for pieces of me
I haven't been able to find my full self anymore. I haven't been able to see myself in the mirror like I used to. I haven't been able to find all the pieces of me yet.
I wanted to put them back together. I wanted to put my life back together. I wanted to smile and I wanted to laugh and I thought I'd be okay after that...
but I can't seem to find all the pieces of me yet.
I'm not sure where I went. I'm not sure that I'm supposed to know. I don't know that I'll ever recover all the pieces of me. Maybe too many of them got lost in the dust. Maybe some of them blew away. Maybe too many of them got lost in the sand while I was falling all over myself. Maybe pieces of me jsut got caught up in the wind, and disappeared for good.
I might not be meant to find those pieces of me. Maybe I'm supposed to be like this. Maybe I'm supposed to be - unwhole. Maybe I'm supposed to be just a girl...
I wish I could explain it. I wish I could understand it. I wish I could find all the pieces of me that are missing.
But sometimes, I feel like I'm searching in a hay field for a needle. And sometimes I feel like I'm swimming upstream only to find another river. Other times I know that I'm in the ocean, too afraid to float. But other times I know that I'm still on the bow of the ship - just waiting to jump off...
I wish I could recover me. Wherever it was that I went; wherever it was that I started to disappear. I wish I could find me and bring me back home - tell myself that its okay to feel this way; and somehow glue back together the missing pieces of me.
I don't know that I can do that. I don't know if I have the glue - but more importantly, I don't know if I can ever find those pieces of me...those pieces of me that got lost in the hurricane, pieces of me that got trapped in the wind, pieces of me that got buried in the sand, pieces of me that just slipped through my hands...
I don't know that I can recover them. I don't know that they even stil exist. And if they do, I have no idea where they all went.
-RK
I wanted to put them back together. I wanted to put my life back together. I wanted to smile and I wanted to laugh and I thought I'd be okay after that...
but I can't seem to find all the pieces of me yet.
I'm not sure where I went. I'm not sure that I'm supposed to know. I don't know that I'll ever recover all the pieces of me. Maybe too many of them got lost in the dust. Maybe some of them blew away. Maybe too many of them got lost in the sand while I was falling all over myself. Maybe pieces of me jsut got caught up in the wind, and disappeared for good.
I might not be meant to find those pieces of me. Maybe I'm supposed to be like this. Maybe I'm supposed to be - unwhole. Maybe I'm supposed to be just a girl...
I wish I could explain it. I wish I could understand it. I wish I could find all the pieces of me that are missing.
But sometimes, I feel like I'm searching in a hay field for a needle. And sometimes I feel like I'm swimming upstream only to find another river. Other times I know that I'm in the ocean, too afraid to float. But other times I know that I'm still on the bow of the ship - just waiting to jump off...
I wish I could recover me. Wherever it was that I went; wherever it was that I started to disappear. I wish I could find me and bring me back home - tell myself that its okay to feel this way; and somehow glue back together the missing pieces of me.
I don't know that I can do that. I don't know if I have the glue - but more importantly, I don't know if I can ever find those pieces of me...those pieces of me that got lost in the hurricane, pieces of me that got trapped in the wind, pieces of me that got buried in the sand, pieces of me that just slipped through my hands...
I don't know that I can recover them. I don't know that they even stil exist. And if they do, I have no idea where they all went.
-RK
0 Thought(s):
Post a Comment
<< Home