Falling...
Fetal position, and sleep. Curl up under covers, sweating from the heat and the hot breath you breathe. Clinging to your own rib cage...falling, falling, falling.
A light breaks through the window. It must be past 6 am, but you refuse to admit that you have stayed up all night long. Toss, turn, flop on one side and then the next. Push away your company. No comfort. Nothing to hold. Drifting, slipping, falling.
Staring off into the blackness of the room all around. Guitar and piano humming sorrowfully in the background. Don't want to pay attention, just wanted to sleep. Mind swirling around every pain, every hurt you feel. Depth opening the wounds of regret - one...more...time...Losing, failing, and falling.
Rain pouring in the back of your mind. Searing sun blaring in your face. Facing a day without really noticing your living it. Getting up just because you have to. Not because you slept. Lying down just because you are supposed to. Not that sleep will comfort you. Waking in the morning, feeling the darkness colder than the morning before. Feeling the world falling to pieces. Breaking, snapping, and shattering at your feet. All of it failing forever...failing and then, falling.
Glimmers of hope here and there only make you wonder, wonder why you stay. Looking forward to something else - someone new - some other life that might one day live in you. But still, you feel it. Constantly before you, taunting and telling the stories of your past. The times you weren't enough and the times you never wanted. The times you broke - the times you fell.
Falling. Always falling. From one height down into the vallies. From one mountain down into the ocean - and over and over it just repeats. Grasping hope like sand in a windstorm. Grasping life like wind in your face. Fighting against everything like a hurricane on the horizon. Dreading the next day like a storm miles off. Fearing, feeling, and falling...
always falling.
-RK
A light breaks through the window. It must be past 6 am, but you refuse to admit that you have stayed up all night long. Toss, turn, flop on one side and then the next. Push away your company. No comfort. Nothing to hold. Drifting, slipping, falling.
Staring off into the blackness of the room all around. Guitar and piano humming sorrowfully in the background. Don't want to pay attention, just wanted to sleep. Mind swirling around every pain, every hurt you feel. Depth opening the wounds of regret - one...more...time...Losing, failing, and falling.
Rain pouring in the back of your mind. Searing sun blaring in your face. Facing a day without really noticing your living it. Getting up just because you have to. Not because you slept. Lying down just because you are supposed to. Not that sleep will comfort you. Waking in the morning, feeling the darkness colder than the morning before. Feeling the world falling to pieces. Breaking, snapping, and shattering at your feet. All of it failing forever...failing and then, falling.
Glimmers of hope here and there only make you wonder, wonder why you stay. Looking forward to something else - someone new - some other life that might one day live in you. But still, you feel it. Constantly before you, taunting and telling the stories of your past. The times you weren't enough and the times you never wanted. The times you broke - the times you fell.
Falling. Always falling. From one height down into the vallies. From one mountain down into the ocean - and over and over it just repeats. Grasping hope like sand in a windstorm. Grasping life like wind in your face. Fighting against everything like a hurricane on the horizon. Dreading the next day like a storm miles off. Fearing, feeling, and falling...
always falling.
-RK
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