no one, nothing, nowhere.
Remembering...
It's one of those summers, again.
Cold, dark, and lonely. No one to call up, no one to call over. No one to just say that I'm glad you understand. No one to lift my chin up and remind me to look at the stars - "because at least they are still beautiful, lovely."
No one.
No one to take my hand and spin me around and dance with me in the middle of Disneyland, and who cares what time of night it is, because we are having too much fun to stop. No one to tell me that the light is still coming. No one to tell me that the dreams are still forming. No one to tell me that I'm still growing.
No one.
Just the music in the background. Just the damn a/c that is always cold at the wrong time of day. Just the sinking feeling in my soul that pulls me down to my battered knees, time and time again.
...and still, no one.
No one to pet my head and remind me that I'm alive. No one to say how much they miss me. No one to wrap me up in their warmth and make all of my fears melt away. No one to hide in. No one to protect me because I'm so small. No one.
Nothing but pain. Nothing but the regret, the rage, the hurt, and the brokenness. Nothing but the blankness of the walls all around me. Nothing but the death within me. Nothing but hope that makes me feel more hopeless with every passing second - because all hope shows me anymore is what a damn fool I've turned out to be. Nothing but the ravages, nothing but the emptiness. Nothing but decisions...decisions I didn't want to make.
Nothing...
no one...
nowhere to go, but maybe just down into my own self-created hell, where no one comforts, nothing heals, and no one in the entire world even cares...
That is where I always end up, and that is where I am...
...here.
-RK
It's one of those summers, again.
Cold, dark, and lonely. No one to call up, no one to call over. No one to just say that I'm glad you understand. No one to lift my chin up and remind me to look at the stars - "because at least they are still beautiful, lovely."
No one.
No one to take my hand and spin me around and dance with me in the middle of Disneyland, and who cares what time of night it is, because we are having too much fun to stop. No one to tell me that the light is still coming. No one to tell me that the dreams are still forming. No one to tell me that I'm still growing.
No one.
Just the music in the background. Just the damn a/c that is always cold at the wrong time of day. Just the sinking feeling in my soul that pulls me down to my battered knees, time and time again.
...and still, no one.
No one to pet my head and remind me that I'm alive. No one to say how much they miss me. No one to wrap me up in their warmth and make all of my fears melt away. No one to hide in. No one to protect me because I'm so small. No one.
Nothing but pain. Nothing but the regret, the rage, the hurt, and the brokenness. Nothing but the blankness of the walls all around me. Nothing but the death within me. Nothing but hope that makes me feel more hopeless with every passing second - because all hope shows me anymore is what a damn fool I've turned out to be. Nothing but the ravages, nothing but the emptiness. Nothing but decisions...decisions I didn't want to make.
Nothing...
no one...
nowhere to go, but maybe just down into my own self-created hell, where no one comforts, nothing heals, and no one in the entire world even cares...
That is where I always end up, and that is where I am...
...here.
-RK
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