Do you remember?
Sometimes, you just have to wonder who is out there. Sometimes, you just have to stop and think about a world full of peole - and wonder who is listening to you; who cares and whose forgotten you.
I've known many people in this life - many I'm sure who have long since forgotten they ever knew me. And sometimes, I think about them and wonder what they would think if they remembered me. And sometimes, I just think about them and wonder where they are or who they became after so long. And sometimes...sometimes, I just think about them to remember them.
I remember people from Hawaii. People I only knew a little, but people I have seen since. And sometimes, I think of them. I think about running around in our bathin suits and swimming for hours on end and climbing palms trees if we could. Sometimes, I imagine that they still know me - and sometimes I wonder what it would have been like if they had.
I remember people from Germany. People I knew for a short while. People I would never see or talk to again. But I was a child then - that was okay, that was easy. But still, from time to time, I think of them. I try to imagine what their face looks like, try to remember what it looked like then. I think of them sitting in their living room with a family around and drinking coffee or eating cake and think - I'm sure they are doing just fine.
I remember people from Clearfield. People I knew well, people I spent my childhood with growing up. People who have all moved away, all changed their lives, all gone in different directions. I think of the summer evenings we spent in the middle of the street and the summer afternoons building dams in the gutter. I think of catching moths and rubbing their wings to make them my friends. I remember Briana getting grounded so often that summer seemed to fade away. I remember moving out...
I remember Simi Adventist School. I remember the playground, the bridge, and Marina. I remember my birthday at the beach, which didn't turn out so good. I remember Samuel - and seeing him when I was in high school. He hadn't changed much at all, I remember.
I remember people from Grace Brethren Elementary like Chad, who ate grass and loved insects too much. I remember calling RJ a fag - and getting called a fag every time he saw me after that. I think that was probably the end of that friendship. I remember walk-a-thons, tug-a-war between the two sixth grade classes, and having a crush on Mr. Green. I remember Lancer Park and lava monsters. I remember Yvone and Chris, I remember Tara and Kira, I remember taking pictures of Christian and walking the basketball courts with Pauline.
I remember Junior High. I remember my scavenger hunt birthday and Laura Hubbs being my friend. I remember Yosuko and Austin's obsession with girly pens. I remember Candy Land in study hall in the library. I remember flannel shirts and never wanting to shower. I remember thinking that was so cool - thinking I was so cool. I remember fighting with Melissa for a year. I remember the trip to Las Vegas with Tara, fighting over $20 which seemed like a lot then, and coming home feeling awkward. I remember Simon.
I remember High School. I remember days I felt like I couldn't get up and go to school without bawling. I remember Stretcher Bearers and crying on the stage in chapel. I remember James and Chelsea raising their hands during worship. I remember joining them. I remember James Needham, Jackson Beucham, Tyson Larson, Caleb Pitman, and Austin Reed. I remember Chris Welker. I remember senior retreat and "EH!". I remember Cup O' Noodle at lunch and working the snack shop. I remember ridiculously large Cherry Pepsis. I remember bright red lockers that I had to share with people. I remember finally having my own. I remember disecting cats and dropping out of AP History with Mr. Koster. I remember independent study US History and German III. I remember Christa and "Jar Takes Stakes". I remember black hair and braces. I remember wrestling with Tim and dancing with James. I remember Senior Banquet. I remember 6 am at Disneyland and Star Tours. I remember TPing the campus and being afraid of the police coming. I remember graduation. I remember leaving.
I remember so much it seems that I can never remember it all. I remember so many faces it seems I can never recall each that I have known. I remember what seems like lifetimes on end. I remember Hawaii and running to Mary's room in the middle of the night and I remember falling off my bike and breaking my tooth. I remember the Backstreet Boys, Pilar, and Bruce Willis. I remember feeling lost - I remember finding You...
I remember home.
I remember so much.
And now, I add to those memories as another page turns in my life, as another school year comes to its close. It doesn't seem like it should be over - but it really is. And so, the page turns again. Another summer comes and another year is over. Another dream has come into veiw and another has faded. Another year older and another day wiser. And as I move forward to a place I have never been before - alone - I remember so many things. And those memories, I take with me as the emblems of the life I had and as suvioners to the dreams I once had. So, I pack them away with all of my things as I yet again move out of one home to go to another for a short while.
Whatever that home brings me, I am not sure. But I know it will bring memories to one day pack away for later. I know it will bring dreams as well as nightmares. I know it will bring so many things - that I never knew it would bring.
But I'm not as scared now, because at least I know what I want. And that makes the world of difference...
So this page turns. This chapter ends. This day closes and with it I close one book to open an entirely new one. Wherever I end up from here - at least I will know You have led me, at least I will know it is right.
But for now, I say goodbye as friends leave for home and other countries. For now, I pack up all my things and leave this room behind. This room where I watched the world change and the world watched me grow. Yes, I leave this room and this life behind. I am going out onto a new path, a new road. What it brings? Not a clue.
But I know that I'm on my way - just as soon as I leave this room.
-RK
I've known many people in this life - many I'm sure who have long since forgotten they ever knew me. And sometimes, I think about them and wonder what they would think if they remembered me. And sometimes, I just think about them and wonder where they are or who they became after so long. And sometimes...sometimes, I just think about them to remember them.
I remember people from Hawaii. People I only knew a little, but people I have seen since. And sometimes, I think of them. I think about running around in our bathin suits and swimming for hours on end and climbing palms trees if we could. Sometimes, I imagine that they still know me - and sometimes I wonder what it would have been like if they had.
I remember people from Germany. People I knew for a short while. People I would never see or talk to again. But I was a child then - that was okay, that was easy. But still, from time to time, I think of them. I try to imagine what their face looks like, try to remember what it looked like then. I think of them sitting in their living room with a family around and drinking coffee or eating cake and think - I'm sure they are doing just fine.
I remember people from Clearfield. People I knew well, people I spent my childhood with growing up. People who have all moved away, all changed their lives, all gone in different directions. I think of the summer evenings we spent in the middle of the street and the summer afternoons building dams in the gutter. I think of catching moths and rubbing their wings to make them my friends. I remember Briana getting grounded so often that summer seemed to fade away. I remember moving out...
I remember Simi Adventist School. I remember the playground, the bridge, and Marina. I remember my birthday at the beach, which didn't turn out so good. I remember Samuel - and seeing him when I was in high school. He hadn't changed much at all, I remember.
I remember people from Grace Brethren Elementary like Chad, who ate grass and loved insects too much. I remember calling RJ a fag - and getting called a fag every time he saw me after that. I think that was probably the end of that friendship. I remember walk-a-thons, tug-a-war between the two sixth grade classes, and having a crush on Mr. Green. I remember Lancer Park and lava monsters. I remember Yvone and Chris, I remember Tara and Kira, I remember taking pictures of Christian and walking the basketball courts with Pauline.
I remember Junior High. I remember my scavenger hunt birthday and Laura Hubbs being my friend. I remember Yosuko and Austin's obsession with girly pens. I remember Candy Land in study hall in the library. I remember flannel shirts and never wanting to shower. I remember thinking that was so cool - thinking I was so cool. I remember fighting with Melissa for a year. I remember the trip to Las Vegas with Tara, fighting over $20 which seemed like a lot then, and coming home feeling awkward. I remember Simon.
I remember High School. I remember days I felt like I couldn't get up and go to school without bawling. I remember Stretcher Bearers and crying on the stage in chapel. I remember James and Chelsea raising their hands during worship. I remember joining them. I remember James Needham, Jackson Beucham, Tyson Larson, Caleb Pitman, and Austin Reed. I remember Chris Welker. I remember senior retreat and "EH!". I remember Cup O' Noodle at lunch and working the snack shop. I remember ridiculously large Cherry Pepsis. I remember bright red lockers that I had to share with people. I remember finally having my own. I remember disecting cats and dropping out of AP History with Mr. Koster. I remember independent study US History and German III. I remember Christa and "Jar Takes Stakes". I remember black hair and braces. I remember wrestling with Tim and dancing with James. I remember Senior Banquet. I remember 6 am at Disneyland and Star Tours. I remember TPing the campus and being afraid of the police coming. I remember graduation. I remember leaving.
I remember so much it seems that I can never remember it all. I remember so many faces it seems I can never recall each that I have known. I remember what seems like lifetimes on end. I remember Hawaii and running to Mary's room in the middle of the night and I remember falling off my bike and breaking my tooth. I remember the Backstreet Boys, Pilar, and Bruce Willis. I remember feeling lost - I remember finding You...
I remember home.
I remember so much.
And now, I add to those memories as another page turns in my life, as another school year comes to its close. It doesn't seem like it should be over - but it really is. And so, the page turns again. Another summer comes and another year is over. Another dream has come into veiw and another has faded. Another year older and another day wiser. And as I move forward to a place I have never been before - alone - I remember so many things. And those memories, I take with me as the emblems of the life I had and as suvioners to the dreams I once had. So, I pack them away with all of my things as I yet again move out of one home to go to another for a short while.
Whatever that home brings me, I am not sure. But I know it will bring memories to one day pack away for later. I know it will bring dreams as well as nightmares. I know it will bring so many things - that I never knew it would bring.
But I'm not as scared now, because at least I know what I want. And that makes the world of difference...
So this page turns. This chapter ends. This day closes and with it I close one book to open an entirely new one. Wherever I end up from here - at least I will know You have led me, at least I will know it is right.
But for now, I say goodbye as friends leave for home and other countries. For now, I pack up all my things and leave this room behind. This room where I watched the world change and the world watched me grow. Yes, I leave this room and this life behind. I am going out onto a new path, a new road. What it brings? Not a clue.
But I know that I'm on my way - just as soon as I leave this room.
-RK
0 Thought(s):
Post a Comment
<< Home