Disneyland with Jastard

I should have known the day was not going well when I had a sudden inkling that I should share my trauma from a past Six Flags visit. The story went something sort of liek this: saw Marvin the Martian. Being the crazy one I am, went to say hi. Marvin decided that he did NOT need to let go of my hand, even as I walked away. Innately, I was disturbed.

Then, after disclosing how I fear cartoon characters because you have no idea what is under that suit - the irony of my life took yet another twist.

*sigh*

Only moments later do I find Pluto struting somewhat on a direct path for me. My first though - bonk him in the nose and move on with my life. I didn't.

However, he took the liberaty of patting my arm as he passed. Creaped out, I explained how I hate it when those characters touch you.

We continued walking.

Seconds later, Pluto is back - tickeling my shoulder! Shall I die now...or later!? Gah! Talk about being HORRIFIED! *blech* He came back for me! WHAT IS THAT?!

So innately, again, I was disturbed.

Moments later, I commented on my disenchantment with cartoon characters.

At least it was something.

...But the day got more and more intersting, not to mention fun.

First important note of reference: Hollywood Hotel is AMAZING! If you have not ridden it - you need to. Come with me, I will take you on the ride of your life in Disney Calif. It really is amazingly enjoyable. I could not stop laughing - hysterically. It was the best fun I have had on a ride in sooo long. It was great.

Then, there was the naming of Jastard and Betch. Ah, how odd is that. If you are brave enough to ask, I might explain. *laugh* If not, leave it at that. That really is all there is to say at the moment.

So the day continued to unfold. There was the pushing of Jay into the sign, which was meant to be just the pushing of Jay into a fence. But the sign randomly appeared and randomly bit off a chunk of his finger. Yes, we are both suing Disney for my being mauled by Pluto, and Jay being mauled by a ride sign. *laugh* That really was a funny conversation too...Yes, they better pay up.

Then, there was the flight in the orange - which was quite lovely as always. And once in the infamous Disneyland Park, there was the jungle cruise. I must say that Jay and I did a fine job of ruining the guide's ONLY good joke - The Backside Of Water!

We were thrilled.

And there was of course the factories. Corn tortillas...pity. But at least I got three peices of bread from the Sourdough factory. That made up for something - at least Pluto's insolence I think.

Oh and of course there was Pri...I mean Pirates of the Carribean. We did a round of Row Row Row Your Boat - but with only two people, it was somewhat next to shabby.

Not sexy.

It was almost as far from a leap off of sexy as the young man's ripped jeans ahead of me in the line. That really beat everything for far from sexy. It was so not it!

And of course there was the bag check that really only says, "If I can't see it - you can bring it." Found out later, in the parking lot, that all the while I had my 3 inch blade in the front pocket of my purse...oops.

And then there was the people watching, which is great. But putting people like Jay and I in a crowd and letting us watch people really is a horrible idea. Both of us are loud, obnoxious, and have no inhabitions....

but I guess it's better than talking behind people's backs, isn't it?

I'm not so sure they would agree. Oh well.

And one of the most amusing things was the staged fight Jay and I began on the exiting of the courtyard. We began to shout about how we had ruined each other's day, how we did everything wrong, etc. Then, proceeded to laugh hysterically and high-five each other for such intelligent rudeness.

I think everyone else was disturbed, or maybe just confused.

You really had to be there.

Not to mention you should have been there when we were entering Disneyland and a family full of never-been's were ahead of us. Ahh, how I want to pat their virgin heads. They were asking the most abusrd questions about who to ask for what and what to do if's. Then, the lady taking our tickets was completely incompitent. It was so amusing.

I felt an undying need to walk around with the newbies by the hand and point out everything to do, everything not to do, and everything they shouldn't do but will do anyways - like twisting their ankle in the railraod tracks. Ahh, yes. I felt a duty - since I nearly live there anyways. It really was quite nostalgic, really.

So, overall, the day was full of Los, Disney and sexy inanimate objects - which I have by the way made plans to record a techno song on the subject and copyright the concept. Therefore, when people refer to any inanimate object as "sexy" I shall make a buck. In the end - I really will be rich of off everyone. It will be truly sexy of me.

So in short (or rather long for my mental incapacity as of late), I had a fine time. The people, the names, and the pushing and shoving. Yes, even the dead leg I aquired while being punched in the car - even that was fun. Odd to, might I add.

But the dead leg aside, it was good...Wait, no. The Pluto incident, the dead leg, the corn instead of flour tortillas, and the rude people who bash into you no matter what you do aside - it was good.

And now I am back with lots of laughs and a huge bottle of Fiji water - which makes my mouth happy after all the attempts at toilet-water drinking fountains and warm-water water bottles. Not to mention the malt in my stomach from the small box of Wheat Thins that I really wish could have lasted longer. But no pity - because I have been well moistened from Pirates, well malted from Wheat-Thins, and well worn from walking.

So, in short, I had fun.

And I really hope to repeat the issue, with less ...issues...with more people. Sometime within the next six weeks!

-RK