Apolgies Needed
I feel like I need to apologize to several people for some very poor behavior brought on last night by a very frustrating issue with a monitor.
It was late, probably around 2:00 A.M. and my mind was already swimming in the bog of a sixy page script. Not to mention I had been successfully angst ridden from Coffee Depot and realizing that I'm too afraid of feeling to actually DO it. So, it was 2 am and I had just come back to hear the monitor issue on my answering machine - not making me feel chipper, yah know!
So now I have to deal with the peice o'junk, which I really do not have the mental capacity to do.
Then there is the cursing - and at 2 am when I'm that tired (pulling all-nighters till 4-ish all week long) and have that much more to do (30 pages of a 60 page assignment due at noon the next day)...
*sigh* Oh, I'm not really here to complain more. I just wanted to explain the situation before the apology. It isn't an excuse - it's just an answer to the "why".
But now - the apology that I owe several people.
I have to say sorry for cursing. Sorry for acting like I was upset at extenuating persons to a situation that I was just in general unhappy about in many aspects.
I must say sorry for interposing situations upon people who didn't deserve to have themselves interposed. And I must say sorry for not being forthcoming about the situation at hand and for not just dealing with it directly.
I must say sorry for presenting myself in a way that could have portrayed that I was angry at certain persons with whom I have no anger presided at all.
I must apologize for being unclear - if I was unclear in my intention or indignation. I only meant to express my frustration toward the individual whom I felt wronged I and others. Instead, I think I began expressing my general angst toward the world - toward this life, and toward my course load which I couldn't mentally handle on top of the situation at hand.
Again, I'm not trying to make excuses. If this comes across that way - forgive me. I am only trying to explain why I was so angry...where the raging came from. And really, more so than trying to explain - I feel the deepest need to apologize to those who were involved, affected, or in any way impacted by the events that sprawled out yesterday night at around 2:00.
So again, I say sorry to those who had to come in contact with an immature expression of feelings that I wasn't sharing. Really - the biggest problem was that I was feeling twenty different things and expressing them all in my raging anger.
Also, I really must apologize for my language. It was uncalled for, unrational, and immature. I was acting out of my frustration, my weariness, and the laughter that was occuring on a different front of the hysteria. But wherever it came from - it was supremely uncalled for and I feel very badly.
In general - I hope this apology reaches those who were involved in the events of the night on Thursday/Friday morning. To be short, I was inconsiderate, rude, tactless, and even quite heartless.
I did nto express the appreciation of the goods and did not properly express my frustration toward the ills.
Overall, I reacted improperly and I hope that those who were involved can see that. If they had not previously, or if any of the emotions were misread or miscommunicated - I sincerely hope and pray that this can serve to help and mend those misconceptions.
I also pray that all of those involved are willing and able to forgive my foolishness. I will be more wary of such things in the future - but I think we all slip at times. I only hope I can be forgiven for my childish and uncalled-for behavior.
In short - I think all I can really say in different words and different ways is just this: I'm sorry. Please take the time and heart to frogive me, who acted childishly.
Really, that is all I can do - all I can say. Just beg the forgiveness of those I hope still matter, those I hope still care.
And until then, I will work on cleaning the mouthg, polishing the emoitional processing, and get some more sleep.
Again - I'm sorry.
-RaliKat
It was late, probably around 2:00 A.M. and my mind was already swimming in the bog of a sixy page script. Not to mention I had been successfully angst ridden from Coffee Depot and realizing that I'm too afraid of feeling to actually DO it. So, it was 2 am and I had just come back to hear the monitor issue on my answering machine - not making me feel chipper, yah know!
So now I have to deal with the peice o'junk, which I really do not have the mental capacity to do.
Then there is the cursing - and at 2 am when I'm that tired (pulling all-nighters till 4-ish all week long) and have that much more to do (30 pages of a 60 page assignment due at noon the next day)...
*sigh* Oh, I'm not really here to complain more. I just wanted to explain the situation before the apology. It isn't an excuse - it's just an answer to the "why".
But now - the apology that I owe several people.
I have to say sorry for cursing. Sorry for acting like I was upset at extenuating persons to a situation that I was just in general unhappy about in many aspects.
I must say sorry for interposing situations upon people who didn't deserve to have themselves interposed. And I must say sorry for not being forthcoming about the situation at hand and for not just dealing with it directly.
I must say sorry for presenting myself in a way that could have portrayed that I was angry at certain persons with whom I have no anger presided at all.
I must apologize for being unclear - if I was unclear in my intention or indignation. I only meant to express my frustration toward the individual whom I felt wronged I and others. Instead, I think I began expressing my general angst toward the world - toward this life, and toward my course load which I couldn't mentally handle on top of the situation at hand.
Again, I'm not trying to make excuses. If this comes across that way - forgive me. I am only trying to explain why I was so angry...where the raging came from. And really, more so than trying to explain - I feel the deepest need to apologize to those who were involved, affected, or in any way impacted by the events that sprawled out yesterday night at around 2:00.
So again, I say sorry to those who had to come in contact with an immature expression of feelings that I wasn't sharing. Really - the biggest problem was that I was feeling twenty different things and expressing them all in my raging anger.
Also, I really must apologize for my language. It was uncalled for, unrational, and immature. I was acting out of my frustration, my weariness, and the laughter that was occuring on a different front of the hysteria. But wherever it came from - it was supremely uncalled for and I feel very badly.
In general - I hope this apology reaches those who were involved in the events of the night on Thursday/Friday morning. To be short, I was inconsiderate, rude, tactless, and even quite heartless.
I did nto express the appreciation of the goods and did not properly express my frustration toward the ills.
Overall, I reacted improperly and I hope that those who were involved can see that. If they had not previously, or if any of the emotions were misread or miscommunicated - I sincerely hope and pray that this can serve to help and mend those misconceptions.
I also pray that all of those involved are willing and able to forgive my foolishness. I will be more wary of such things in the future - but I think we all slip at times. I only hope I can be forgiven for my childish and uncalled-for behavior.
In short - I think all I can really say in different words and different ways is just this: I'm sorry. Please take the time and heart to frogive me, who acted childishly.
Really, that is all I can do - all I can say. Just beg the forgiveness of those I hope still matter, those I hope still care.
And until then, I will work on cleaning the mouthg, polishing the emoitional processing, and get some more sleep.
Again - I'm sorry.
-RaliKat
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