Insufferable...

So hot, so exhausted, so nausciated, so ill, so tired, so in pain!

The heat is insufferable. I feel as though my flesh might begin to ooze off at any random point in time, as if my eyeballs might just dry up and flake out of my sockets without warning, as if my throat could at this very second become a gaping desert full of the dust that is hanging, blazing in the air.

I feel like I am choking just to breathe - suffocating under the heat, under the sun, under the exhaustion, under the starvation, under the endless homework yet to attempt.

Drowning, starving, melting...

Oh when will it all end, when will the break come? When will I at last be safe and secure on the wintry island for months on end? When will I finally be free from this blazing, infernal hell of a state!

Desert to my left, dried lake beds to my right. Dust is everywhere. Breathing is no use - the air is avid with heat and suffocation.

I feel as though I am dying...as though I am already dead.

I want Los Amigos II - I want to be free from this sordid furnace. I want sleep, I want roses, I want romance and love and chocolate that doesn't melt in my hands even in a sand storm. I want dreams coming true - I want life, love, and happiness. I want to be me without restriction, without oppression, without responisibility.

I want free!

I want to be cold! I want to breathe in fresh air and say, "Ah, yes that is what life feels like. I remember now."

I don't want to deal with homework, and mental breakdowns, and anger, and rage, and relaltionships.

I just want to be free...

Free from this blazing hell all around me...

Free from the torment, the torture - the endless work that can never be done - never is done.

I want to sleep in a crystal sea and float on clouds and breathe in cotton candy dreams and dance like I don't care who can see me - like I am free!

...sigh...

it's just so hot...

-RK