epiphanies, vinegar, and chocolate
It has come to me - at long last, and far overdue. But it has come nonetheless.
Like a breeze on a warm day, like fresh roses in a vase - even if you can't smell them, can't touch them, can't own or have them. Yeah, it is sort of something like that.
Something bitter-sweet. Something I don't really know what to do with. Or maybe I really do...
Stick it on a shelf, save it for later, not you - not yet. Maybe tomorrow, maybe in a year, maybe when you are 30. Maybe never. But it doesn't matter when...just not now, not yet.
And I ask why. I ask how come and I ask with who, for who, and why not me. But the answer is always the same: wait. Wait this storm out, sit in the boat and pray - look and see what I have for you....
and all you have to do is *wait*.
So tired of waiting, so sick of sitting here - waiting for the boat to hit shore. I want to be *home*, I want to come it, I want to be there...
and I want to be there now!
But that is just the problem. I have no patience, no pertinence, and no resiliance. I just "jelly-fish it" from one moment to the next, seeking just what I want. Not what will help someone, or save someone, or get someone else through....
just me.
Well, I'm hearing another voice now. And I think that confuses me.
I hear so many voices now...and that really confuses me.
Who do you listen to, who is right? But I can't ignore those that are the loudest....
You...
You are the loudest, aren't you?
Or maybe just the stillest, the calmest, the quietest, the most intense?
Yes, yes...that must be You....
...
...mustn't it?
-RK
Like a breeze on a warm day, like fresh roses in a vase - even if you can't smell them, can't touch them, can't own or have them. Yeah, it is sort of something like that.
Something bitter-sweet. Something I don't really know what to do with. Or maybe I really do...
Stick it on a shelf, save it for later, not you - not yet. Maybe tomorrow, maybe in a year, maybe when you are 30. Maybe never. But it doesn't matter when...just not now, not yet.
And I ask why. I ask how come and I ask with who, for who, and why not me. But the answer is always the same: wait. Wait this storm out, sit in the boat and pray - look and see what I have for you....
and all you have to do is *wait*.
So tired of waiting, so sick of sitting here - waiting for the boat to hit shore. I want to be *home*, I want to come it, I want to be there...
and I want to be there now!
But that is just the problem. I have no patience, no pertinence, and no resiliance. I just "jelly-fish it" from one moment to the next, seeking just what I want. Not what will help someone, or save someone, or get someone else through....
just me.
Well, I'm hearing another voice now. And I think that confuses me.
I hear so many voices now...and that really confuses me.
Who do you listen to, who is right? But I can't ignore those that are the loudest....
You...
You are the loudest, aren't you?
Or maybe just the stillest, the calmest, the quietest, the most intense?
Yes, yes...that must be You....
...
...mustn't it?
-RK
2 Thought(s):
Ah, how I feel your pain dear one. I really empathize with your desire to be "home". While that is different for each person, it is still one of those things we all want ey? :'( Keep blogging :D ~Frankie
Thanks Frankie! I'm glad to hear that someone else in the world feels my pain - though I know how you do! =0)
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