eleventh hour

so close, and yet so far from where I'll have to be soon...

It's coming, and I can't stop it. I'm scared, but I can't stop it. I wish it could be over before it begins, but I can't stop it. I'd rather run from this place than face it, but I can't stop it.

from this dim life into the dark, from this dark hour into the darkest. from the tenth hour into the eleventh.

I'm so scared of it...

but I know I will never be able to live without it...

petrtified, but know it's right.
scared to death, but know it's almost here
on the doorstep of coming,
on the sunset of living,
on the verge of something better...
but not quiet there.

Some day soon, I will have passed through this hour - but not until it gets darker, not until the wound gets deeper, not until the infection is gone...

so I'm waiting.

Waiting for the day to break, and waiting for my life to be alive within me again. But first I know I have to conqure the dread, I have to heal from the wound, I have to bleed the disease out of my veins.

I have to pass through this eleventh hour.

soon...

-RK