A dark consideration

I wonder. If we went far enough, would the light abandon us? If we stopped living long enough, would our souls betray us? Would nature turn its back and dispel us? Would we ever get to the point where we spit ourselves out of our mouths? Is it even possible?

I'm tired of the self-gratifying, self-pleasuring, self-fulfilling bile we are eating. I'm sick to my stomach, but I can't find anything else to eat.

Just more of this imitation, artificially flavored, cheap and easy to reproduce life. Just more manufactured, piece-meal things made as shittily as possible. And in the face of it, what can we really do? Born of the upper-crust, the priveledged, the rich. Do we even know how to be anything else?

The weight of what we have done and what we have become is crushing. Are we even still breathing underneath it? Are we even still alive under all that rubble? Or are we just completely suffocating. Drowning under the weight. Our bones all breaking. Our shape not holding.

You can't tell. Because we're oh so good at faking it now. At looking like we're together. At playing the part. At making it all look good. At making it seem like it makes us happy. At pretending like we aren't vomiting it back up. Like we aren't all dying of the cancer of what we've created.

I, for one, want some shit to go down. We need some kind of shit to go down. Something that will shake us up and show us how this life is full of shit. Or maybe, the shit isn't the point. Maybe what we need is a warning to tell us that we're on our way.

Maybe what we need is a new prophet. A new voice to call our for the spirit of Life. To cry the midnight that has engulfed us. A new mouth to carry a new message.

But what can these mouths even say? Warning, we've gone to shit and we aren't coming back? See here, we're breeding death? We're heading for a black hole. Let's turn around?

But, don't we already know it? Don't we already see it? Don't we already feel it?
So, who then, will turn?

Perhaps compassion is the key. To remember that in all of us is that same spark, and also that same tendency to fall into ourselves, into selfish complacency.

I am no saint. I have my own comforts that I will vie for mercilessly. My own hang-ups that I will back up. My own pleasures that I will claw at the face of this world for. The exact same tendency to go into spiritual hibernation - to only do the things that suit me.

But my eyes can be opened. And so can everyone's.

So long as we remain committed to openness and honest with one another, we've still got a chance. So long as we comitt to remind each other of compassion and peace, we can still do this. Turn this fucking world around - at least, our part of it. One tiny corner of it. One modicum. One little piece of it. And that might just be enough to get a trickle-down effect going or a goddamn revolution started.

Just maybe.